Monday, December 31, 2012

Full-contact Christmas

The fa-la-la-la-la and Christmas magic are being put back into attics, sealed up for another 11-month sleep as a new year is unwrapping. There’s so much coming in this new year. I believe 2013 is a game-changer in the Kingdom of God. But before the stroke of midnight, and hopefully a thousand times after, I want to unwrap and to reopen, Christmas magic.

After three years, this was my first Christmas morning with Lifa. He’s never had a “Christmas morning” the way that I know Christmas morning… there have never been gifts, music, special breakfasts, a tree, or a manger story. He didn’t even know he was supposed to wake up at 5am and pounce with glee. So I did. :) 

But first, I prayed.

I needed Christmas morning to be more than wrapping paper and cinnamon rolls. Because the next day I’d drop Lifa off for an unforeseeable amount of time at his dad’s house, four hours from mine. This time is different than any of the others. And because I knew that after we played and celebrated, we’d being going to the hospital for a Christmas visit.

Two days before Christmas, I got an early morning phone call from the most broken mama-voice I’ve ever heard. Sweet Given had been burned. A plastic bag, burning in a trash pile, had found that perfect 3-year old body in the early hours of the morning. Given is ok – but has severe surface burns beginning at the left-hand fingertips and climbing up the arm. There are also some ear burns and blisters around Given’s head and face.

That day I realized that the children’s ward would be full of broken and burned babies on Christmas morning. And that Christmas magic had to reach them there - and had to be even more than Christmas morning tradition.

It had to be what Christmas really is. The “magic” that is actually mysterious holiness needed to be actually mysteriously holy.
Vulnerable, unconditional love came in to the most unexpected circumstances and brought joy. Everlasting life meets daily life, on hospital beds, in trash piles, on the road between Lifa’s dad’s house and mine, and in the donkey’s bed (Lifa’s rendition of the manger).

Love put on a real body and entered daily life through a real body.
Love broke through oppression, sickness and filth by coming into those very things on His own birth day.

But you know what? I bet there was joyful laughing on the day that Savior-baby was cast into the filth of a manger. I can almost hear the wild thanksgiving after that final scream of pain.

It was a full-contact Christmas on that manger day.
He came with a body, through a body.
He came to earth all the way to reach us all the way. In the middle of scandal, chaos, rejection, vulnerability, fear, a Savior is born. And that Savior hasn’t left.

Full-contact Christmas.
He reaches it all.
And I need that Christmas to keep going all year.
Because that Christmas can reach burned bodies, broken mothers, and faraway families.

And that Christmas can reach me. My skin and my depths. My heart and my soul. The parts that cry for my babies and the parts I can’t even reach. Christmas can reach.

Christmas isn’t for the attic.
That full-contact Christmas reaches and is eternal. It’s reaching every hospital ward, every broken heart, and every injustice.

I prayed on Christmas morning for that morning of new traditions and play with Lifa to be my frankincense and myrrh. And now on this New Year’s Eve morning, I pray to live like full-contact Christmas lives  - and that my words, my thoughts, my actions and my faith be my frankincense and myrrh all year long. 

Our Christmas morning...
Lifa telling the Christmas story

Pure bliss every time he opened a gift... "IT'S A BOXXXX!!!"





Our Christmas visit to hospital...

George loved Jesus' birthday cake

And Khensani loved the balloons and stickers!

And Given started smiling again on Christmas Day

Friday, December 21, 2012

pa-rum-pum-pum-pum


Christmas is so close we can taste it! Christmas music is blasting everywhere - I HAD to laugh when I heard Feliz Navidad blaring in a South African pharmacy!

I had a moment a few weeks ago that made me rethink one Christmas song in particular.

It was a typical Sunday morning: I was hauling the giant red Condor through Dwaleni to pick up the kids and the mamas for church. Nandi pounced me in delight, her eyes and her mouth shouting, “Mama Kacy! Mama Kacy! Christmas! YOU!”

She handed me a tiny little piece of wrapping paper covered in Christmas stickers. I knew this was the very finest she had to offer. And I gave thanks.

I opened up the palm-sized parcel to find a neatly folded piece of notebook paper with her handwriting.


To my surprise, the paper was covered with the words – the English words – to the song The Little Drummer Boy. I giggled and started singing it. Nandi had never even heard the song, but ran in her house to show me that she had a book from school with the words written down… right next to the picture of a dark brown baby in a manger wearing traditional Swazi dress. (So awesome.)

As we loaded up the car with bouncing children, I skimmed through my iPod and found a hilarious – or maybe embarrassing – Christmas surprise. I did have The Little Drummer Boy… sung by New Kids on the Block. (Busted.)

It was better than a reunion concert… we JAMMED New Kids on the Block that Sunday morning.  Over and over again we sang, “Pa-rum-pum-pum-pum”.

I was in Christmas bliss in that moment, as we drove up a mountain sprinkled with shacks, barefoot and unsupervised babies, and empty-handed people. I reveled in the Truth and worshipped with a band of 10 kids playing the dashboard, headrest, and hand drums.

And I sang the words of Truth loud…

Come, they told me... Pa-rum-pum-pum-pum,
A new born King to see... Pa-rum-pum-pum-pum.

Our finest gifts we bring... Pa-rum-pum-pum-pum,
To lay before the King... Pa-rum-pum-pum-pum,
Rum pum pum pum, Rum pum pum pum.

So, to honor Him...Pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
When we come.

Little baby... Pa-rum-pum-pum-pum,
I am a poor boy too... Pa-rum-pum-pum-pum,
I have no gifts to bring... Pa-rum-pum-pum-pum,
That's fit to give our King... Pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
Rum-pum-pum-pum, Rum-pum-pum-pum.

Shall I play for you... Pa-rum-pum-pum-pum,
On my drum.

Mary nodded... Pa-rum-pum-pum-pum,
The ox and lamb kept time... Pa-rum-pum-pum-pum.
I played my drum for Him... Pa-rum-pum-pum-pum.
I played my best for Him... Pa-rum-pum-pum-pum,
Rum-pum-pum-pum, Rum-pum-pum-pum.

Then He smiled at me... Pa-rum-pum-pum-pum.
Me and my drum. 

This carload of kids had nothing to bring their King that Sunday morning, but they were singing to Him. They were playing their drums. And I was playing them too – on the steering wheel. They offered songs and joy in a language they couldn't even understand, and I offered that steering wheel, that Sunday morning, and my hands.

And it was Christmas.

Merry Christmas to you and your family. I pray that every hand that passes a gift, serves a plate of food, hugs a family member, or opens the door for a guest is blessed with all of the meaning in that “pa-rum-pum-pum-pum,” and He opens your Christmas morning ears to hear the cadence of the King’s song. 

Saturday, December 15, 2012

A Bucket of Justice


I’ve just spent three glorious days at the beach.  
And not just any 3 days at the beach: Family Vacation!
I’m so thankful.

I wrote this on our last night at the ocean:

Today, an almost-5 year old hand grabbed mine and led me to just the right spot – that magical place where the waves meet the shore, where the depths come in for a kiss.


He threw sand, and I marveled at what a perfect Christmas moment it actually was. Not a miracle baby and a star, but the Creator coming in for us, nonetheless.

Lifa sat in my lap, and waves rolled over our feet with giggles and gladness.

I sang.
“Your love, Oh Lord, reaches to the heavens.
Your faithfulness stretches to the skies.
Your righteousness is like a mighty mountain.
Your justice flows like the ocean’s tides.”

I watched the ocean coming and coming, and I thought about justice that looks like that.
What is justice that flows like that?

The child on my lap is starting Grade R (kindergarten) in January, but has no documentation. He might be able to be enrolled, but it won’t “count”. He can’t get a diploma, health care, a passport, a driver’s license, a job, a bank account, etc.

But the ocean keeps coming.
I never know where the waves are going to land, which ones will fill up our bucket, or which ones will bury our feet. But I know they’re still going to come.

January changes everything for me.
Unless the tides change, Lifa will go to attend a community school near his dad’s house – four hours away from mine. He may only be with me for school holidays.

I swallow this reality with salt and sand, and he squeals with a purity and joy I’ve never ever seen before as he faces the “big swimming pool”. He’s screaming and squeezing – and I sing.

“Your justice flows like the ocean’s tides.”

I hold that baby tight.  And I look for the edges of the ocean.
But I can’t find them.  So I let go. And I raise up my hands.

And I look at Justice lapping around our legs, swallowing us, even picking us up and spinning us around as its tide comes in. 


I look at Justice, and I tell Him there’s enough out there.
I tell Him I don’t want a swimming pool.
I want tides of Justice flowing in, over me and over us.
There’s enough out there for January, no matter where his feet land and where mine do.

It’s time for sand castles. I promised I’d help.


We need water, but he’s too scared to go out deep enough to let the bucket fill up.

So I take that green plastic sand pail, and I walk into the ocean.

I fill up, and I bring Lifa one bucket of Justice at a time.
And I tell Justice how happy I am to bring that bucket to Lifa.
And I realize that there’s enough – and that it’s completely worth it.

Justice is flowing. Justice is complete. Justice is rolling in.


Lifa needs justice. He was made in the image of Justice. Thousands of names I don’t know need justice.

And when they are too scared, too small or just in shell-shock, I can take a bucket and cross that sand for them.

I can bring one bucket of His unending supply at a time, and give Lifa the tool he needs to keep dreaming and keep digging into the house he’s building us and the hope he’s learning how to live with.

I don’t know what 2013 will look like or feel like. I don’t know how easy it will be to swallow once I’ve washed the sand and salt out.

But I know, and I’ll sing:
“Your love, Oh Lord, reaches to the heavens.
Your faithfulness stretches to the skies.
Your righteousness is like a mighty mountain.
Your justice flows like the ocean’s tides.”

Justice says He’s finished. He’s sitting in the mercy seat. I’ll sit at His shores.


He said He’d build a big house in 2013 for me, and for His Family. He said He has plans for that house and His Family that I can’t begin to grasp.

He said He loves me and Lifa and Lifa’s father. And that He doesn’t even have to readjust Himself on the mercy seat for His highest good, the greatest love, to flow in like the oceans tides.

I can’t fathom any of it.
And I can’t see the edges of the ocean.

But I have a bucket. 



Tuesday, December 4, 2012

What do you do?


Last week Nandi and two other 11-year old little girls knocked on my door in the middle of the day.

They had walked miles from their houses to mine because they were afraid and hungry. One girl’s mother had eaten all of her food and told her to go beg for more. The girls stole eggs from someone’s yard and got caught. So now they were on the run looking for sanctuary from their heavy-handed mamas and for something to fill their stomachs.

What do you do?

December’s a dangerous month in South Africa. There’s no school or structure for children, and Christmas bonuses are cashed in at liquor stores. There are so many tragedies I can’t  handle thinking about, so many I can't see and can't reach them.

And three little girls knocking on my door for help.

The girls walked a very dangerous road.
Their mothers were dangerous – but hiding with me would likely put them in more danger with their mothers later.

My mind was reeling, stuck on, "What do I do!?!" All of a sudden, those three buried faces popped up out of those dirty hands and asked with hopeful eyes, “Can we go play now?”

They’re children.
Children who look like grown-ups because of the distances they walk alone, the ways they learn to provide for themselves, and the life skills they learned the hard way.

They’re hungry children.
And they squeal like the schoolgirls they actually are when their calloused feet land on the trampoline at the Ten Thousand Homes base.

What do you do?

Feed my lambs.”

I loaded them up and took them to a Ten Thousand Homes feeding. And then it was time to take them home to face the mamas together.

I woke Nandi’s mom up. She didn’t even know Nandi had left.
The next girl’s mom only cared that the white lady wasn’t angry – but I could tell the tables would turn as soon as I left that property.
The third girl took off as soon as my car door unlocked – disappeared before we got a chance to meet her mom.

At the end of that day, the same questions were still in my mind and I had no idea if I’d made the lives of these girls better or worse that day. I had no idea if I’d made any impact for the Kingdom of God – or if I’d actually endangered them.

That evening, I realized 80 Rand was missing from my wallet. (About $10 USD – and almost the equivalent of a full days’ work for most people.)

What do you do?

“Take care of my sheep.”

They’re scared, hungry children.
Whose moms probably don’t have moms to teach them wrong from right.
Whose moms eat their food and tell them to go find their own.
And whose moms don’t wonder where they are when they’ve been gone all day – or even notice.

After church and lunch on Sunday, I pulled Nandi aside and talked with her about the money.

She wouldn’t look at me. She denied everything, and then changed the story a hundred times.  Ginormous tears fell far away from me, where she kept herself locked up.

I told Nandi that I love her the same as I always do.
I told her that nothing would change that.
Family stays family.
I also told her that, even though her actions didn’t change how I felt about her, there was a responsibility for a bad choice. I knew she’d never be able to produce R80, and asking her to would lead to more danger, so I told her I would come get her the next afternoon to come help me clean my house.

Nandi disappeared the next day, but this afternoon Lifa and I found the three little girls walking to base again. This time to clean the house. They didn’t have the, “We’re in trouble” faces; they didn’t seem conscious of that at all. They were three little adventurers delighted that someone would invite them over and give them jobs.

I put them to work – washing dishes, sweeping floors, beating rugs and mopping. They loved it. And God started speaking to me about His love.




Three little girls scurried around a one-room cottage I’d already cleaned once that day, but was already filling again with uninvited pests and summertime dirt.

They were playing house. We were practicing Family.
They were happier than I’ve ever seen them during their “punishment”.

What do you do?

“Feed my sheep.”

They ran out to play, and I cooked dinner. I set our little coffee table and thought about our lives and His love.



We steal - Truth from each other, love already paid for by grace, and glory from the Name of Jesus.

We scurry – bustling about to make it look shiny and clean in our one little corner of life, and the pestilence of brokenness contaminates while we are still cleaning.

He invites us over – bidding us to His Presence, no matter what it takes to get us there.

We work – but none of it adds up to the debt, nor the work Jesus did for us on the cross and in that empty tomb. 

We go out to play after work - and he’s pudding dessert in the fridge.

The feast has already been prepared. The table’s already been set.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to handle December. I don’t know how to love well. Most of the time I feel like I keep sweeping that same corner of the cottage when it comes to loving Nandi and her family.

But the One who made it all clean knows.
The One who is preparing the feast – the One who is called Love – can make our dusty-cornered love perfect through Him. 
And He can make those girls who play house and practice family know they have a Home and a Family that lasts.

When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you truly love me more than these?”
“Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”
Again Jesus said, “Simon, son of John, do you truly love me?”
He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”
The third time he said to him, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?”
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.”
John 21:15-17

Sunday, December 2, 2012

How To Decorate a Christmas Tree in South Africa

Warning: May contain nudity.

(I just didn't want paint on their clothes.)

oh hey Given

Painting ornaments

Lifa happened to be the only one at the party with underwear on.


Nandi's heart

And here comes the Lifa show...


Mama Charity playing it cool, but completely enthralled. :)

The Christmas tree crew!

It takes at least two different shots to get a smile from all of them

And now it's Christmas in the cottage!


Lifa's ornament last year

And this year

Merry Christmas everyone!



Tuesday, November 20, 2012

"Shiny, shiny, shiny... so nice."


It’s Tuesday morning… and already I feel like it’s been one of those weeks. You know those weeks? It’s one of those weeks where it feels like the windows to my soul are forecasted to be stormy and rainy.

The holidays are on horizon in every time zone, and the enemy’s trying to entangle the tinsel. He's making pathetic attempts to stomp out the thanksgiving and joy we were designed for.

So this morning I need to tell a story that’s not about tangles, but is about Truth. A story about car washes and other things that shine brighter than tinsel.

I need to remember with you that  “…the Son of God, Jesus Christ… was not ‘Yes’ and ‘No’, but in him it has always been ‘Yes.’ For no matter how many promises God has made, they are ‘Yes’ in Christ. And so through him the ‘Amen’ is spoken by us to the glory of God.” (2 Cor 1:19-20)

I need to “Amen” to the Truth that is constant and the Truth that is promised to you and to me. I need to speak out His promises already being fulfilled to stomp out the encroaching lies.

I met Samkelo and Bongani almost as soon as I got to Africa. I stayed in the family home of these 12-year old identical twins for 5 days when I first came to “visit”. I was immediately amazed then by the servant-hearts of these boys who were the men of a family of 10, and who were always at church first to help clean and set-up.


Almost 3 years later, these 15-year olds are squeaking and stumbling their ways into being fine young men of God.  Along the way, family members have come and gone, a house was burned and a house was built, and one time Samkelo proposed to me.


Fourteen months into my life in Africa, the glorious day came when I was able to purchase a car and drive myself to church. Samkelo and Bongani’s aunties started passing me notes like schoolgirls, asking if that was “our new car parked under the tree”. It was indeed, and as part of the family, the car was considered the family’s.

Instead of demanding transportation and field trips, however, this family and these boys taught me a lesson on Family. Samkelo and Bongani begged me to allow them to wash the car. They longed to celebrate through serving and stewarding our blessing well.


Parked in the space in the yard they made for me, using water that was not easy to come by, the boys scrubbed, shined, and beamed. “Shiny, shiny, shiny…. So nice,” they said over and over again.


We cranked up the radio and danced and celebrated. I tried to pay them and they refused. They said it was for Family.

Every time I came, they begged to wash. Finally, I insisted on paying them R5 each – about $0.75USD. It was like I had given a million bucks. They raced to the shop to buy sweeties – a few pieces for themselves and the rest for their family. That 5 Rand was gone in less than 5 minutes.

Over time, we talked about budgeting. Although I might be the furthest from qualified in the ways of financial planning, I had access to Truth. So, through a translating auntie, we talked about what God says about money.

Once they had access to Truth and to knowledge, they absorbed it like a sponge. They giggled and delighted at the ideas of budgeting and started setting goals together. They asked me to hold their money so they wouldn’t be tempted to spend it, and they began to take pride in their work. It was always, “Shiny, shiny, shiny… so nice.” They’ve done so well, they’ve earned raises.

Some days they were hungry. Some days they were cold. Some days they were hot. Some days they were tired. Every week they were ready to work. Every week they sat back, admired their reflections in the paint job, and looked at me with big matching smiles saying, “Shiny, shiny, shiny… so nice.”

They had access to something they’d never known before: Samkelo and Bongani knew it was possible to live for something beyond today.
I think that’s what we call Hope.

We’ve had a hundred car wash dance parties.
Every one ended in “Shiny, shiny, shiny… so nice.”

(An old one but a good one - Lifa's car wash dancing.)

One week, the babies piled in the backseat to the irresistible beat of the Black-Eyed Peas while Samkelo and Bongani cleaned the front seats. At the end of the day, we realized that tiny little dancing fists had demolished the speakers on the back dash. So Samkelo and Bongani took a 10-week pay cut to help pay for the speakers. In the "tough love" process, they gained a new sense of protection and respect for their work and our blessings.
Even on the reduced pay weeks, “Shiny, shiny, shiny… so nice.”

Samkelo and Bongani’s first saved up for was a garden. They saved up, we went to a nursery, and they delightedly picked out just the right seedlings to grow vegetables for their mother, their extended family, and even for me.



Next, they were able to save up and buy cell phones!

And then they could afford to go on a field trip with their school!

Finally, they set their sights high. The boys wanted to buy a television. They dreamt as they washed. They reminded me every week what they were saving for. They wanted to count their money every week. Every week that, “Shiny, shiny, shiny… so nice,” meant they were that much closer to that electronic dreambox.

They thought they could get one for R400. ($50) They didn’t want to wait to get a bigger one – they wouldn’t have space anyway.

They worked hard - oh so hard.
FINALLY, the day came when the boys had R410.

They giggled and rejoiced… And then I reminded them about tithing.
We opened up the Scripture and talked about all money coming from God, and giving him the first of everything. They grimaced, they agreed, and then they grinned… “Next week! Shiny, shiny, shiny…. So nice.”

The young men proudly walked down the aisle at church that Sunday and deposited R20.50 each in the basket at the front.

I shared with the TTH staff the rising anticipation and the accomplishment of the boys, and another staff family decided to get their car washed too to help out.


After tithing and a double-duty car wash days, the boys had R460.
Their mother wasn’t sure it would be enough still, so she selflessly walked to a neighbor’s house and borrowed R100, (at least a full day's work!) not wanting the boys to miss out on what they’d worked so hard for.

And into town we went! With 2 of their friends in tow!

With R560 burning a hole in their pockets, they browsed every set in the shop. There was one for R400 and a significantly larger one for R500. They collaborated in SiSwati while their buddies oogled over electronics they’d never seen.

Samkelo and Bongani came to me beaming. Through very broken English, they told me they wanted to buy the R400 television so they could afford the batteries for the remote and an antenna – and return their mother’s money.



I have never been more proud.

I wanted to look directly into their hearts and scream, “Shiny, shiny, shiny… so nice!”

We had a small photo shoot, a few victory jumps and yelps, and then piled into the car – giving that 17” piece of glory its own seat.



On the car ride back, the thankful game brought me to tears.
“Thank you for teaching me budgeting.”
“Thank you for teaching me giving my money to church.”
“Thank you for teaching me how to behave.”

They had waited an extra week because they chose to tithe.
They had gotten one size smaller than they could have.
But Samkelo and Bongani walked out of that television shop with hearts even fuller than their arms.

They had access to the Truth, and they had consumed it.
At 15, these boys are walking in wisdom, faithful giving, and grabbing onto a hope for tomorrow.

The rest of their circumstances haven’t changed. They still get too hungry. Too tired. There’s still water to fetch. A family to care for. And a thousand struggles in their daily lives. They even asked to stop by the TTH feeding program on the way home because they were too hungry to focus on their new TV.

But despite every damaged speaker, every delay, every trial, there is Truth.

Truth that you can’t feel on some days. Truth that makes you wait another week, another year, or until eternity comes down. Truth that makes you reach only to the R400 shelf on this day, but Truth that sets you free everyday.

Truth that says, “Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.” (2 Cor 1:21-22)


That Truth still comes with a hope and a promise of that tear-wiping, Kingdom-coming day when Your Savior and Your Beloved looks you in the eye and says, “Shiny, shiny, shiny… so nice.”