The Cornbread Church

There’s a lot of forward motion in this beautiful Ladd life. 

Chris and I have spent several years in South Africa, both separately and together. We have bounced down dirt roads, dug water wells, taught life skills, and built churches and homes. We’re not leaving South Africa, but we are preparing to travel new roads, dig different fountains, teach Life in a new way, and build the Church starting from our home. Becoming a church family is what we were made for. 

 

God’s voice is moving us forward the way He likes to move the Ladds forward - like ain’t nobody got time to wait around. We are counting down the days until our next big step. (TWO DAYS TILL CAPE TOWN!!!!)

I’m getting ready for what lies ahead by counting the steps that brought me this far. Every dust-in-your-everything, family-forming, faith-stretching, spirit-strengthening day has prepared us for today and is making immeasurable space for tomorrow.

Markers and scrap paper. 

An old bench and sticky hands.

Cornbread and 11th grade. 

This is how I look back and move forward. 

On September 12, we celebrated one year of being a family. 

Lifa and I spent the weekend before making art projects for a beautiful dinner experience.

Lifa painted a picture of our family seeing a hyena miracle at Kruger Park to decorate our banana braai station.

While the crock-pot did the work, and with the table perfectly set for celebration, we sat outside together with the sunset, paper scraps and markers. The three of us wrote out our favorite moments of the year and hung them as a banner over our dinner table.

We laughed while we read them during dinner. They were our stones of remembrance and celebration - hung with clothes pins and sticky-tac. We could see a church family being born out of uno games, coffee dates, outdoor adventures, sharing our home, spreading tablecloths, sharing meals, giving away cars and cheering for Lifa that time he scored against his own soccer team… twice. 

My personal dream come true: Lifa and I made CHALKBOARD PLACEMATS.

The moments we choose to hang up and hang on makes the mountain our family stands on and looks forward from.  What we choose to remember is what writes our testimony and shapes our legacy.

They even humored me when I asked them to put on the shoes they wore when we all walked down the aisle. (We didn’t have a piece of wedding cake stored in our freezer because we had a banana braai wedding instead - so we did it again on our anniversary night!)

This week, I went back to Dwaleni - one of the communities I poured my heart and soul into for my first six years in Africa. I went armed with stories to spread as a banner over that place and those people.

Angel and I never skipped a beat after a year apart. We sat on the same old bench, under the same little shelter we had prayed her dreams into existence week in and week out. Every kid that walked by shouted, “MAMA KACY!!!!” I waved and blew kisses instead of asking them why they weren’t in school. I scooped up the stickiest baby I could find and rocked him while Angel and I remembered. “We built this together Kacy. Every week you came, and you knew me. I always remember what you taught me, even when it’s very hard." 

I gathered up the moments and miracles that brought her here so that she could see she is still moving forward. The pain in her face eased, and Angel said, “I do believe in my dreams again.” I told her that we were starting a church, and she remembered how much time I’d spent on that bench teaching her about the local church’s role as the family of God in community centers just like hers. Angel looked at me and said, “I think God has made you to teach South Africa about the church.” 

I walked hand-in-hand to my car with Angel and said with more conviction than I had when I arrived, “Yes, I think God did make us for that too."

I couldn't leave without swinging by my most-frequented front porch in South Africa. I’ve pulled into Mama Charity’s patch of grass a thousand times, scooped up hers and Busi’s families, and driven to church and my house for Sunday Lunch. I stepped back onto that porch to tell those two mamas that it was all those years of making jumbo batches of beans, rice and cornbread for Sunday lunch… It was celebrating birthdays, spending Christmas Eves together, births, deaths, painting nails, teaching kids and moms how to eat together, giving everyone a lunch job, playing, and talking about Jesus on picnic blankets, completely covered in sunshine and babies… It was those years and those moments where God taught me that church works. And it works best with real lives lived together.

Their eyes filled with tears when I told them we were moving forward to start a new church. I told them we believe we will be a church with global impact, and they were part of my unwavering belief in the power of the church. That makes them a part of this church. That makes them world-changers.

I charged them with the charge of a world-changer: Live like you’re from heaven and not from earth. Love God; love your kids; and don’t do anything outside of that. Mama Charity has six kids and with no support. Busi is trying to pass 11th grade to make a better way for her baby. I reminded them they are not victims of circumstance, but they are part of a world-changing, global movement. Now they better act like it and never forget it. 

When she was totally spent and totally out of words, Busi said, “Eish… That cornbread. I’m going to miss that cornbread.” 

“Me too, Busi. I’m going to miss eating cornbread with you. But I’m going to keep making beans and rice and cornbread for Sunday Lunch wherever I am, whoever I’m with. And I’m going to keep having church with that cornbread. You do it too."

Sometimes our worlds are shaken and life changes dramatically in an instant, one moment turns everything around. And sometimes it happens one sticky hug and one piece of cornbread at a time. 

Your life story may leap and bound, or it may just seems to saunter along. Whatever it looks like, it's the words you write it with and the pictures you illustrate it with that create both your history and your future. I almost can’t believe the characters, settings and events that make up my story. I feel humbled to have been entrusted with so much. I will do everything in my power to put words and pictures that point my heart and others toward what counts: the eternally ever after. 

I have to work on my self-editing skills daily because I don’t always speak the way I want my story to sound, but that’s part of the beautiful journey we’re on with the God who always meets us where we are.

So here’s to one year of being married to my hero and a lifetime of cornbread church! 

All About that Bass

I typically have more caffeine than oxygen pulsing through my veins between 4am and 10pm. Daily life thumps along to the beat of multiplication rap, soccer practice, swim lessons, homework, and all the to-do’s and to-feel's of handing over responsibilities and relationships of several years of ministry. As life thumps on, we fill our house with great people, playful puppies, creative spaces, and lots of intentional thankfulness. We assemble on the Avengers bed at 7’o clock every night. Lifa yawns and stretches out his legs, and we all stretch out our faith. We pile up to pray, and we rebuke restlessness, ask for more of God’s presence, and celebrate one more day together. 

I want to tell you about how supernaturally energized I am. How God miraculously increased my capacity, the way He has done many times before when He’s asked me to lay down one thing to make space for the next. I would like to describe in awe-inspiring alliterated detail how the thankful game and mine and Lifa's post-dinner multiplication rap performance has given me wings like an eagle. I want you to read about how we’ve already been fully equipped for this humbling calling on our lives, and how we are soaring above our circumstances in supernatural peace and strength. 

But guys. 

I’m too tired. 

My heart truly is full. My gratitude is overflows more than the coffee cup I’m too tired to gauge my pour on. (Depth perception is so tricky.) 

Heart full. Bones dry.

Eyes… you don’t even want to see these crazies.

The reality is restlessness has blanketed our family. Sleep comes lightly and sparingly. But it’s the tossing and turning in our spirits that has wearied our bones and exhausted our strength.

I’ve rehearsed, memorised and leaned on Scripture. God is my strength, and His grace is sufficient in my weakness. I’ve plunged into Biblical teachings on God’s rest and not growing weary. I pour our my prayers and hear Him in His Word daily. I surrender my sinful flesh and scavenge for the specks and planks that might be the straining my vision and stealing my peace. I’m not in a spiritual stalemate. I’m just spent. So very spent. 

This is where I usually rally, where the blogs get good and inspiring. I brace myself, pace myself, and post up with joy for the race marked before me. That is happening in all the practicalities of daily life. My body is in better shape than ever because I am nurturing the temple God entrusted me with. My mind is being sharpened daily with memorising Scripture. I’m parenting with great prayer and purpose. And I’m walking obediently in every discipline and gifting God has asked me to. Yet I sit here chugging coffee #3, and I’m dry-boned and crazy-eyed. 

Maybe there’s something to this. 

Maybe there’s holiness and hopefulness to be found in these eye-pits and thirsty bones. 

Last night was a doozy in the Ladd house.

We had lots of cups of tea and hours of heart-sharing, life-giving conversation with young adults who attend our ministry nights. After our late goodbyes, Chris and I laid wide awake to the sounds of bass reverberating through the neighbourhood.

 

On a Wednesday night. At midnight.

There was also cat-calling and sex-pot whistling and really, really bad music blaring.

ON A WEDNESDAY.

After weeks of fruitlessly seeking rest, it felt like last night’s noise ricocheted off our souls. You know those moments, when the bow can’t be stretched further without breaking and you can’t get closer to the fire without burning. You’re standing right on the border of crazy-town, and somehow you’re about to be elected mayor. It’s where the arrow has to be released, the rains have to come, and crazy-town must take a nap. FOR THE LOVE. 

Pillow to pillow, head to head, we confessed the depths of our weariness. We talked about how wholeheartedly we’ve each been pursuing God, serving each other and our family, and focusing on thanksgiving. I told him I’ve been trying to hide the entrapment I feel from my soul, the strangling and tangling restlessness.

The bass blared on while we started to see the bigger picture of our family’s spinning wheels.

This isn’t working. That happens in us, in people and in families. Sometimes all the good things just stop working. So you do something about it. You find what works, and you do that. My husband committed on a whole new level to do whatever it takes for our family to thrive during our window- and soul- rattling night last night. 

We don’t know the details of what our new life will be like or exactly what it looks like to thrive in it.  What we do know is that we are made to be a church family, and, day-by-day and step-by-step, we will plant a church. We know God clearly said to take a 3-month Sabbatical, an intentional season of soul-restoration first because the church He will plant through us will be built with bright eyes and strong bones.

 

We didn’t need a supernatural noise cancelling miracle - we’ve had those before. (They’re lovely.) We needed the Prince of Peace to show up. And, as it turns out, last night He was all about that bass. 

If you think about it, it makes sense.

He’s the kind of sovereign that leaves perfection to be swaddled in dirty laundry in a back-stable. He chooses to show up right in the middle of intrusive noise and unsettling circumstances because He goes where things are working and makes them work. He keeps His eyes on you and invites you to do something about it. He says, “Come out here on top of the waves, and thrive.”

Today we had soccer practice, swim lessons and tutoring.

I’m cry-tired. (That’s a real word in our house.)

Circumstances didn’t miraculously change over night. They got a little more uncomfortable, actually.   

But I have a Savior and a husband willing to do whatever it takes for our family to thrive. They are wiling to enter the chaos of the darkest and longest night for the good of the family. To go where it doesn’t work so something can be done about it. 

That’s the kind of family we are going to be.

That’s the kind of church we are going to be.

The kind that goes where we need to go and does what we need to do to for the people to thrive.

Pillow to pillow last night, my husband and I made space to the beat of the bass music. We made space to walk obediently toward the Sabbatical and the soul-restoration we are called to. To do whatever it takes to align ourselves with who God says we are and prepare a healthy foundation for a thriving church.

He spoke. We prayed.

And discussed. And emailed. And called.

And there are going to be some changes. 

Please stay tuned, and please stay prayerful. 

We we will thrive, and we will be brave.

We will do whatever it takes to be obedient and to be whole.

 

We’re going to Cape Town soon with big purpose and prayers. We are expecting big changes to be born out of that trip, and we can’t wait to share them with you. 

But first, will you pray? 

Will you pray for Lifa in all this transition? Pray for his ability to thrive, his sense of security and belonging, and for God to make clear and protected paths for him.

Will you pray for finances, both for this trip and for the larger budget that will be required in this upcoming season of life? If you would like to join our giving team and be a part of this movement with us, please click here to email me. 

Will you pray for the soul-resting of our family and our obedience in taking a true Sabbatical? God has given us a clear directive for this to give us fresh vision and deep bone-quenching restoration for the thriving, bight-eyed church He will birth. 

Thanks for entering this long, dark nights and sticking around for the daybreak. It’s coming. And it’s going to be beautiful. 

A Mom and Dad Date

Summer is cresting in South Africa. We took our first dip in the pool on Sunday. (Shout out to our smokin-hott pool man, Chris Ladd!) Lifa and Chris spend most afternoons kicking the soccer ball or throwing the Frisbee, while I sit on the porch steps, petting puppies and cheering on my handsome crew.  

Lifa is working on his signature “ZINGAAAAAA” Frisbee throw - which means he usually ends up either face-planting in the bushes or break dancing in the grass. (It’s a work in progress, people.)

My favorite moments lately are the secret sunrises from the back porch. On our quiet morning coffee dates, Chris and I sit close (because he’s just so good looking), and we get close. We want to live a life that savors every sunrise, soccer goal and family swim. We steal away together in the early mornings to seal up those moments and let them become a part a part of who we are. It’s how we date.

Last month, we had a powerful dinner table moment when we shared with Lifa that we were made to be a church family. (Read about it here.) He exploded with excited questions and a visible sense of security. What is there to worry about when your family is doing what it was made to do?

If our family was made to be a church family, then we should just be a church family. 

Lifa logic. Plain and simple.

We took a risk and told the world the plans and purpose God placed in us:

We will start taking steps toward planting and pastoring a church after a season of transitioning from our current ministry and a brief sabbatical.

back porch moments

We threw a faith ZINGAAAAA without knowing the place, people or timing for this church, only knowing what we were made to do. We invited you in to the process to pray with us. What’s faith without risking a face-plant or break dance anyway?  

In the weeks since then, our dinner table and back porch are writing stories and shaping secrets. We are already experiencing revelation about the dinner table we will set for His house and the peace-filled place we’ll gather with the Family of God. Our coffee dates and sunrises are foreshadowing a love story far beyond our greatest imaginings. God is putting direction on this church a lot sooner than we thought we were ready for!

A few nights ago, we sat on the back porch and told Lifa that Mom and Dad are taking a trip. Lifa will visit his biological father during the first week of October for his school holiday. “Lifa, while you are at your dad’s, we’re going on a trip to Cape Town. It’s like a Mom and Dad date.” Lifa nodded contentedly without a single question.

What is there to ask questions about when your mom and dad are doing what moms and dads do? Lifa logic.

Chris and I never dated in the traditional sense of dating. Some of that was because we live in a place that’s unsafe to go out at night and we already had a child. 

Our non-traditional dating had much more to do, however, with us deciding first and dating second. We sat far apart, on separate couches in fact, and shared the promises God has placed in us individually. (Read my rhyme about it here.) Then we chose to chase them together. We chose to watch the rest of the sunrises and walk the rest of the way together. And to sit really close when we weren’t walking.

We made a covenant. We said yes. And then we dated the way moms and dads date – with Lifa on his bike right in front of us.

Lifa right in front of us...

And Gerry the Giraffe right behind us.

We got married, and then we met each other’s families. As husband and wife, we explored each other’s cities and walked through each other’s stories for the first time. We dated through downtown Knoxville and along the shores of Galveston Island. 

Great Smoky Mountain hiking in Tennessee

I didn’t even have to worry when he found out how crazy my family is because he was already mine, and we knew we would take on crazy and coasts, families and futures together for the rest of our sunrises and sunsets. (It’s ok to publically call them crazy. They put pantyhose on their heads for Christmas – there’s no exaggeration happening here.)

Beach walking in Texas

Almost one year ago, we said, “I do.”

And now we’ve said, “We will.”

We have covenanted to be a church family.

Chris and I are going to Cape Town, South Africa on October 2^nd -7^th because we feel God inviting us there. In collaboration with wise counsel, we feel God directing us to a specific region and building a specific vision in us. We can hear the One whose chosen us beckoning us to come on a date.

This “Mom and Dad Date” is a ZINGAAAAA, y’all. We’re going to the other side of this nation, to a city very different from the one we now call home. We are going because God has asked us to come see, explore and pray there as we prepare for a church.

We are going there to date the way moms and dads date - with the Family in mind, focused on being better together, and ready for any kind of crazy, coast, family and future.

Please pray with us as we go. There will absolutely be coffee-sipping and close-sitting while we are there, but the purpose of our trip to Cape Town is in response to a call from God. 

We are going expecting a yes or no to a church plant in Cape Town. 

Please join us in praying for that clear word from God. Also, pray with us for finances. The one-week trip will cost about$1,000 USD. Pray for safety as we travel and for Lifa while he is away from us. Thank you for joining in with us!

Just had to get one last ZINGAAAAA in here!