Turning mountains into moments.

One more week of adjusting to this "new normal", and God's faithfulness is written all over it. There have been moments where I've wondered what I'm doing here - even wondering if I've gotten this all wrong.

And then God gives me a moment:

A leopard walking out in front of our car at Kruger Park.

Watching Isabelle steal kisses and hugs from Lifa at the Ten Thousand Homes Staff vs. Mbonisweni soccer game.

Celebrating culture from far away - featuring an American soundtrack, sweet tea and I even snuck in a little "God Blessed Texas".

Trying to carry a bed up a mountain to squeeze into a tiny home for a family to have a nice place to sleep.

It's small moments this week that God's used to remind me that he hears and answers every single prayer. He's shown me that, since I lost my house on earth, He's given me a million more and deeper experiences of Home that I might not have known from my comfort zone.

It reminded me of what Jesus said, "Whoever finds his life wil llose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." (Mt 10:39)

With every moment, that makes a little more sense to me.

Pray for safe travels and more moments for me this weekend. I will be travelilng to Swaziland (a few hours taxi ride) with another staff member, Keri, to the Swazi YWAM base. We are going to share stories, build relationships and to dream alongside them. I can't wait to share pictures and stories when I return on Sunday!

Walk It Out

I used to have an iPhone.


And, when I had an iPhone, I would sometimes scare myself at how much information I could access at one time … and on a touch-screen for that matter!

It’s only been six months, but it’s strange to me to think about unlimited, high-speed internet access all the time, anywhere you go. I could find the nearest coffee shop, read the reviews, get directions and call for business hours within seconds… while driving… on that hand-held piece of goodness.

It has always been normal to be in high-speed, hyper-productive mode. I got even better at it when I started drinking coffee!

But now it’s time for a new normal.

I’m used to running; and now it’s time to walk… alongside the community-members here, a group of God’s chosen and dearly loved children, appointed to bear fruit that will last.

The new normal comes with a lot of waiting, being still, a new mind frame and vocabulary regarding time and place, and taking time to go beyond language barriers and culture clashes to build relationships.

Sometimes I feel like I spend all my time talking in circles or walking too slow. (It’s safe to say I haven’t “mastered” this new normal quite yet.)

Then a child runs up that I haven’t seen in months, calling my name and asking me what day my church will come. Or I receive a real, genuine hug and a handful of avocados. Or God sends a team here that renews the heart, the vision and Home in me.

Just when I start to get tired of the “scenic route” and I get ready to run as fast as I can, Jesus moves in that subtle, loving way He has and reminds me that this isn’t a race.

This orphan crisis, or any of the other injustices or pain we deal with daily, is not a “project” to be completed by a certain person.

I have a feeling that this new normal I’m dipping my toes in will involve a big, fat perspective check. I’m learning (at an even slower pace than I’m walking) that we are to live like a family, not like super-heroes trying to “fix” it all before the detonator goes off.

We can each only do our part to make the earth look a little more like the Kingdom.

My new normal includes learning to celebrate that the part of the Kingdom I get to walk in is colorful, runs on relationships first, and is right in-step with Jesus walking beside me.

Naps and News

I’ve held sleeping babies all day today.


Every time I go to Mbonisweni, one of the communities Ten Thousand Homes works in, I walk straight to my family’s house- the family I stayed with for 5 days in March during our community stay. After lots of greetings, hugs, kisses, and usually GoGo (grandma) giving me some fruit, I typically help the youngest boys, Tepiso and Lifa get dressed and take them to church with me. The rest of the family comes when they are finished with chores.

Nothing makes me happier than walking down that dirt road with Tepiso on one side and Lifa on the other. (If you haven’t heard, I am completely in love with 2-year old Lifa. He lives at Tepiso’s house because he doesn’t have parents to care for him. And I’m pretty sure that once Tepiso’s cousin told me in Swati that I could keep Lifa.)

Today, I held baby Fiona while Tepiso’s mom took a shower, and as soon as she was in my arms, she was asleep. Later, at church, as soon as I sat down with Lifa on my lap he was sleeping, and when I looked at Tepiso sitting next to me, his little head was bobbing up and down until he finally laid on what lap I had left.

I listened to the other children sing while I watched Lifa sleep, and thought about how amazing it is that these kids long so much for safe and loving arms to rest in.

Isn’t that what we all want?

When we’re little, we often deflect naps with every trick in the book. We sing and dance and fight with all the fight we’ve got to keep our eyes open. (If only we knew then how precious naps are as grown-ups!) We don’t want to miss a moment, and we certainly don’t want to lose the feeling of having control in a situation. We don’t admit to needing a nap and think we can handle it all by ourselves. Sometimes we refuse to surrender until a warm embrace swoops us up and we can’t resist giving in to that love that is so much bigger than us.

In the past few weeks, I’ve been fighting rest. I’ve sang and danced and entertained thoughts of exciting new ministry programs, life plans and adventures. I’ve fought against hearing God say what I thought He was going to say. You could even call it a full-blown temper tantrum which then led immediately to denial.

But as I watched Lifa today, I realized that this is how it’s supposed to be. Whenever Lifa sees me, he looks at me, longing for me to call to him and then crawls right into my lap and settles in to rest in the safety of loving arms. It doesn’t matter what’s going on around him, who’s there, or how long he’s been there. And he knows I’ll wake him up in time to get his meal.

It’s time for me to sit and get comfortable in God’s safe and loving arms. Time to do what He’s calling me to do rather than try to keep myself awake and in control.

I’ve decided to join staff at Ten Thousand Homes in South Africa. I’m not sure how long I will be here for, but I’m making this “home” now.

In the past weeks, God has reminded me of the vision He cast in me years ago, the passions He gave me and the ways He created me. (Another blog, another time.) He has shown me that I’ve been obedient in following Him, but I’ve become more comfortable in the song and dance part than the actual serving Him part.

It’s time to not be “on a mission trip” anymore, and it’s time to live as His obedient child- living life the way He’s taught me to amidst the orphan crisis. It’s making the Kingdom my culture wherever I am. And, right now, I am here.
I want to live with trust in the love that’s too big for me to see. I want to live with an open heart and a full lap.

“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” -2Cor 4:18

I have no idea what this looks like yet or how to live it out, but I know it’s right. I am asking for your prayers though that I keep resting in Him and not struggle to keep control. I’m trying to adjust to living in a new culture, doing a new kind of work, and living a new lifestyle. I didn’t plan to come to Africa in January and not MOVE back to the States. On some days, I’m completely freaked out and lonely. On others, I can’t think of anything else I’d rather be doing. As of now, I plan on settling in here until November and then coming to the States for a holiday/fundraising trip.

Also, please pray for me in the details. I will be seeking monthly support now, applying for a visa, and nesting on the opposite side of the world from all my family and friends. I don’t know how to do any of this stuff. (And I welcome your suggestions.)

I plan on blogging through this process because, like I’ve said over and over and over again, you are such an important part of what Home is to me. In my relationship with you, I feel valuable and loved and like I belong. You are a part of how I experienced the very love that compels me to be here. It’s important for me to stay connected to you. Please keep in touch and keep sharing your life stories with me.

And, you are always welcome to visit my new place. ;)

The Processing Process

I've spent the last weeks remembering, processing and celebrating our outreach to Zambia and Johanessburg, South Africa. I want to share a glimpse of my experience with you and invite you to stay tuned for an update about what's next soon!

I'm Probably Gonna Talk About Home and Jesus and stuff.

I miss you! I miss you! I miss you! No matter who’s reading this, it’s probably true.


It’s been a very different week of goodbyes and readjustments. Last Saturday night the ZamFam – our DTS class – graduated.

We were given one last project as a class – to come up with a theme and decorate for our graduation. We all knew instantly that our ZamFam was all about Home and Family. In some way, we’d all been on a journey as individuals and as a group to understand our place at Home, the Kingdom of God, and how to live in a family, or community, with each other.

We collected couches from around base, built fires in the fire pit, made coffee, framed family photos, and hung up curtains. We made home out of our physical reminders of home while we made dorky I-Miss-You videos for our Beautiful Princess, Bekah and danced to Michael Jackson.

We danced and giggled for one last night together before facing the reality the next day of saying goodbye to our family, those who stood beside us and prayed with us as we walked toward and began to embrace our identities in Christ.

This goodbye felt different, though. This was a goodbye to family scattering all over the world, knowing it is very unlikely we’ll ever all be together again and that we were all about to face our own battles of sticking with what we learned outside the bubble.

There were tears, so many tears, because theses are some GOOD people I was saying goodbye to, but deep down inside I felt God’s presence in a new way.

After we lost our house in Alvin almost five years ago, I struggled and struggled to feel at-home somewhere. I just couldn’t figure out where I belonged. Eventually, I started to understand that Home is the Kingdom of God. We all have a place to belong there; we all have received full inheritance as sons and daughters of the Living King.

Did you read that – FULL inheritance!?! That’s the real deal. Even though we are sinners, we don’t get treated like the step-child. Even when we run away and do that prodigal son thing, our Daddy throws dignity out the window, hikes up his robe and comes running, shouting “Welcome Home!!” and planning the party of the year.

“Give thanks to the Father who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the Kingdom of light.” –Colossians 1:12

And our God is a relational God – He even exists in relationship as the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. So I began to understand Home in relationship with others. And I realized in Zambia that, for a girl whose felt homeless for the last 5 years, I’ve had more Home than most people ever know. Complete welcome, unconditional love and belonging. My family. The Dam Fam. The ZamFam. The Chang Ladies. Lily and Eve. Bay Area Community Church. Christian Assembly. 8:59. Phi Lamb. Ten Boomers.

Over and over and over God has been teaching me about Home, and that He will always be Home for me.

That’s when everything changed. I realized that the relationships – all you wonderful people (Sorry if I didn’t mention you. It’s just a sampler.) – are pictures of the way God loves. As close as we can get here on earth to knowing what the REAL Home is like.

But the part I hadn’t quite grasped yet, and the reason that everything felt different when I said goodbye to my ZamFam last week, was that GOD IS HOME.

“Jesus replied, ‘If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.” –John 14:23

Home isn’t the ZamFam. Home isn’t the big red couch or even all the talks on it. Those are reminders and the physical manifestations of my real Home. And I am so, so, so thankful for the pieces of Home on earth we are given – and for the ways you’ve been Home to me.

This week I’ve been praying for this next ZamFamless chapter. It’s the first time I’ve really started into a chapter of life with no parameters. There’s no program, no time frame, no schedule. And it’s so much scarier to me than jumping into some wild and crazy adventure that I know nothing about for a defined chunk of time. Please pray with me that I hear God’s voice, trust Him more than I ever have, submit all the parts of me that are fighting against it right now, and obey with complete and humble surrender. Pray with me to expect His glory and His voice to show up everyday.

Been having technical difficulties (you can pray for my computer too!) and minimal internet connection, but hoping to get some more pics up from DTS next week. Hope to talk with you soon!

Bafana! Bafana!

We are leaving Joburg tomorrow!!!! We will have one week of debrief before all the tears and the goodbyes - The ZamFam is dispersing around the world!

We had one last fun night out in Joburg this week. We went to cheer on Bafana Bafana - the South African soccer team in a World Cup practice game against Colombia. It was AWESOME!

I can't even imagine what the excitement level will be like in the next weeks when the World Cup actually starts!

ZamFam!

A Mob of Spirit Walking Down the Street!

Joburg Sunset

Soccer City in Soweto! World Cup's largest stadium. This is where the opening and the finals will be.

BAFANA! BAFANA!

My HeRo! Two friends I am so thankful to have met here in Joburg!

Traffic Jam

I canʼt believe how at home I feel here at The Joseph Project and how quickly weʼve settled in. The Joseph Project is a YWAM base in the inner-city of Joburg.

We are staying together in close quarters (3-high bunks and 2 showers for 30 of us!) in the safely barred gates of this old house. We donʼt leave after dark and walk everywhere in groups when we go by day. If we werenʼt close before, we are now! Upon arrival at The Joseph Project, the director warned us of the spirit of independence in the city and that we have to pray against it creeping into our team. Weʼve definitely
experienced some of that and have been making intentional efforts to move in the opposite spirit - to support one another as we spend our last two weeks together, and be a part of solidifying and encouraging one anotherʼs growth in our new identities in Christ and making what weʼve learned real in every part of our lives.

In the mornings, several members of our team have been going to local schools to raise awareness for human trafficking. The World Cup is just a few weeks away, and The Joseph Project is in walking distance to one stadium and a short ride away from several more. Thousands of travelers from all over the world will be pouring in soon!

There is SO much excitement around South Africa for the 2010 World Cup - countdowns, t-shirts, flags, and anything and everything you can think of. The whole continent is excited. Imagine how the capital of South Africa feels!

I wish I could give you a picture of the emotions Iʼve experienced since being here in Joburg and meeting many of the children. Iʼm overwhelmed by the excitement and some of the painful realities behind the excitement. Africa is vulnerable. And with the nations flooding in, there is so much more at risk. The
children will be out of school for the five weeks of the World Cup - left to wander around unsupervised and create their own fun.

Weʼve spoken to 2,600 students in the past week. They hadnʼt heard of human trafficking before. One group showed up at a school only to find out theyʼd had a child kidnapped the day before and there was another girl kidnapped a week before.

We tell the children what human trafficking is - people selling children into slavery to use for pornography, prostitution, to sell drugs, to work on farms or factories, and to sell their organs. We tell them how real it is right where they live - that 600,000 African children are trafficked each year.

And then we tell them they were created in the image of God, unique, precious and designed to dream and to be free. We teach them about human rights, give them tools to protect themselves, empower them and practice with them. We even perform a drama for them to help them understand. (hope to post a video soon)

Every single time I have to manage my emotions and not let my mind wander to the possibilities. Every single time at least one child comes up to us at the end and tell us a story of someone trying to traffic him or her. When we pray with the students at the end, we feel a real need and a real presence of the Holy Spirit.

Weʼve learned about the growing and oppressive demand for child slaves with the World Cup approaching. There are already brothels being set up and tickets being sold... TICKETS... promising patrons tickets to a few games and then a few children after to meet their needs in whatever way they see fit. TICKETS to these fearfully and wonderfully made images of God.

There are more stories and more devastating statistics everyday.Throughout this process, Iʼve loved working with the Justice ACTS material and doing my part in the Kingdom for now by educating and empowering the
children. Itʼs been a gift to be a part of His work.

Itʼs also weighed heavily on me.

Godʼs been teaching me about His freedom. He created us in with abundant and unconditional love - to be free. Jesus came and paid the price for full freedom and full grace. It doesnʼt matter what our stories are, where weʼve come from or what we see when we look in the mirror. We all are given and designed to experience the same freedom and grace.

There is so much “land” in my life that Iʼm not enjoying - places Iʼve not letʼs Godʼs grace and freedom flow through. Why do we let Truth only flow into parts of our lives? God is good all the time. And He has a heart for justice.

“Put your hope in the Lord. Travel steadily along his path. He will honor you by giving
you the land. You will see the wicket destroyed.” - Psalm 37:34

I believe God is calling me to live abundantly, to live in the freedom He already died for.And from that freedom comes more heart, more room and more ability to be a part of bringing His Kingdom to earth.

“Follow justice and justice along, so that you may live and possess the land the Lord
your God is giving you.” -Deut 16:20
 
Iʼve struggled a lot in the past week with feelings of oppression, doubt and fear as Iʼve wrestled with the reality of human trafficking all around me, heard stories of people hurting one another and divided houses back home. And Iʼve asked God, and Iʼm asking you to join me in praying to help me to move in the opposite spirit of oppression... Tolean into, walk in and delight in Godʼs freedom. Itʼs already been done.

Heʼs showing me, in a two-steps forward-one-step-back kinda way, that even if Iʼve been enslaved, even if spiritual attack is coming from every angle... Godʼs love is still free and it never leaves. Even if I was a slave, I could be free in Him. And Iʼm choosing that.

Please join me in prayer for the children of Joburg and all over the world. Pray against oppression, enslavement and for freedom and grace.

 I have so, so, so many more thoughts and stories about this and hope to blog more
about it later. Please pray.

We need your prayers here. Start with awareness, and make a night of it. Get your family and/or friends together to watch the movie Trade and pray for human trafficking.

A prayer from a book Iʼm reading:

Father in Heaven,
Teach me more about Your heart for Your people. You are might to save. You are brave and wonderful. And You have Your eye on me. Help me, Lord, to walk in the kind of bold faith that pleases You. Help me to fully embrace the truth of who I am and what Iʼm called to. May I have the courage to face the reality of our times, to stand in the gap, and to speak the truth even when it costs me, because thatʼs how You lived. Thatʼs how You loved. And I want to be like You.
And now, Lord, I pray for the 27 million slaves in our world today. Dear Father, bring justice and freedom to these people! Bring the truth of their imprisonment to light and provoke those in authority to put an end to this crime! Give your people the courage to stand in the gap and to prayerfully and financially support efforts to secure the freedom of these precious souls. Show me what my part is and then help me to do it.
In Jesusʼ name I pray,
Amen

(Embracing Your Freedom by Susie Larson)

 

Mobbed at the primary school! Can you find my white face... sinking into a crowd of children!?!