I'm Probably Gonna Talk About Home and Jesus and stuff.

I miss you! I miss you! I miss you! No matter who’s reading this, it’s probably true.


It’s been a very different week of goodbyes and readjustments. Last Saturday night the ZamFam – our DTS class – graduated.

We were given one last project as a class – to come up with a theme and decorate for our graduation. We all knew instantly that our ZamFam was all about Home and Family. In some way, we’d all been on a journey as individuals and as a group to understand our place at Home, the Kingdom of God, and how to live in a family, or community, with each other.

We collected couches from around base, built fires in the fire pit, made coffee, framed family photos, and hung up curtains. We made home out of our physical reminders of home while we made dorky I-Miss-You videos for our Beautiful Princess, Bekah and danced to Michael Jackson.

We danced and giggled for one last night together before facing the reality the next day of saying goodbye to our family, those who stood beside us and prayed with us as we walked toward and began to embrace our identities in Christ.

This goodbye felt different, though. This was a goodbye to family scattering all over the world, knowing it is very unlikely we’ll ever all be together again and that we were all about to face our own battles of sticking with what we learned outside the bubble.

There were tears, so many tears, because theses are some GOOD people I was saying goodbye to, but deep down inside I felt God’s presence in a new way.

After we lost our house in Alvin almost five years ago, I struggled and struggled to feel at-home somewhere. I just couldn’t figure out where I belonged. Eventually, I started to understand that Home is the Kingdom of God. We all have a place to belong there; we all have received full inheritance as sons and daughters of the Living King.

Did you read that – FULL inheritance!?! That’s the real deal. Even though we are sinners, we don’t get treated like the step-child. Even when we run away and do that prodigal son thing, our Daddy throws dignity out the window, hikes up his robe and comes running, shouting “Welcome Home!!” and planning the party of the year.

“Give thanks to the Father who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the Kingdom of light.” –Colossians 1:12

And our God is a relational God – He even exists in relationship as the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. So I began to understand Home in relationship with others. And I realized in Zambia that, for a girl whose felt homeless for the last 5 years, I’ve had more Home than most people ever know. Complete welcome, unconditional love and belonging. My family. The Dam Fam. The ZamFam. The Chang Ladies. Lily and Eve. Bay Area Community Church. Christian Assembly. 8:59. Phi Lamb. Ten Boomers.

Over and over and over God has been teaching me about Home, and that He will always be Home for me.

That’s when everything changed. I realized that the relationships – all you wonderful people (Sorry if I didn’t mention you. It’s just a sampler.) – are pictures of the way God loves. As close as we can get here on earth to knowing what the REAL Home is like.

But the part I hadn’t quite grasped yet, and the reason that everything felt different when I said goodbye to my ZamFam last week, was that GOD IS HOME.

“Jesus replied, ‘If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.” –John 14:23

Home isn’t the ZamFam. Home isn’t the big red couch or even all the talks on it. Those are reminders and the physical manifestations of my real Home. And I am so, so, so thankful for the pieces of Home on earth we are given – and for the ways you’ve been Home to me.

This week I’ve been praying for this next ZamFamless chapter. It’s the first time I’ve really started into a chapter of life with no parameters. There’s no program, no time frame, no schedule. And it’s so much scarier to me than jumping into some wild and crazy adventure that I know nothing about for a defined chunk of time. Please pray with me that I hear God’s voice, trust Him more than I ever have, submit all the parts of me that are fighting against it right now, and obey with complete and humble surrender. Pray with me to expect His glory and His voice to show up everyday.

Been having technical difficulties (you can pray for my computer too!) and minimal internet connection, but hoping to get some more pics up from DTS next week. Hope to talk with you soon!