I heard God say something loud and proud and terrifying about 2 ½ years ago.
“If you’re going to stay here and live how I made you to live, you’re going to need a bigger car and a bigger house.”
So, me in all my super-missionary-holiness, humbly and respectfully replied to my Father, “THAT IS RIDICULOUS.”
And that was the end of the story.
I like to think it’s kinda like that time He told an old guy in a desert that had never seen rain to build a boat to save the world.
It felt like that same level of ridiculous and scary and impossible and RIDICULOUS.
But, as it turns out, that old guy did build the boat.
I, on the other hand, sputtered about ridiculousness and cracked a joke with the one person I dared tell that I would probably end up with a giant, obnoxious, red Condor (used as taxis around here).
Annnnd a few months later, I was clown-car piling Africans for a giggly, gas-guzzling joy ride in my new 4-wheel drive reminder that God always wins… now affectionately known as Clifford the Big Red Condor.
|Tweenz Car Wash's #1 (and only) customer|
Now, I can’t imagine living and loving without God’s amazing provision of the most outlandish, obnoxious thing I could fathom on that ridiculous day. It’s upgraded His capacity to work through me… And the amount of people we can reach. This week, we put 20-people in that 7-seater!
|Don't judge... My sister taught him this.|
A year later, He reminded me about that house.
It’s true that my tiny cottage walls felt like they were caving in on me, bruising me with burnout, and crawling with things, including things with long tails that eat my cooking utensils. That’s real… My life is disgusting.
But, still, a HOUSE!?!
Yes, I realize that I live at and work with a ministry called Ten Thousand Homes… that happens to build houses in local communities. But, to be honest, building a house is the biggest fear I’ve ever faced. He didn’t just tell me to build another bite-size cottage.
HE said, “Build a house with room. And name it Glory House.”
There’s a purpose and a plan for the place I live and the way I live. There’s a name.
So, what does a super-holy-missionary do in a time such as this?
She shuts down. And doesn’t tell anyone.
And feels ridiculous.
Terrified, embarrassed, ludicrous… I could go on.
I kept it a secret, only letting God’s holy, anointed promises leak out in slow, accidental outbursts of snotty overwhelmedness and cottage burnout.
I was afraid of building a house with “room”, and not knowing what the room is for. I was afraid of looking like a fool for building on promises that I couldn’t guarantee would come true. I was afraid of building a Spiderman room, in faith, and it never being lived in. I was afraid of doing this on my own, having to make decisions beyond my understanding, and the very most afraid of having a bigger space to feel lonely in at the end of every day of pouring myself out in the name of Family.
I was afraid of the scary number and all the scary 0’s that would be required to build it. So I didn’t tell. But that slow leak to His faithful ones backfired… THEY RAISED ALL THE MONEY BEFORE I COULD EVER ASK FOR IT.
Just over a year ago, I sat, pooly-eyed, over a bowl of pasta and shared with a part of my spiritual family that I felt disobedient because God had told me to build a house, but I just couldn’t start this… do this… share this… live this… ask for this…
My church had raised half of the money WITHOUT EVEN TELLING ME. And, there I sat with my carbs and cheese, halfway there and still too afraid to talk. The human-hug sitting next to me just batted her perfect-love eyes and said, “Well, that is so funny because I came here today to tell you I was giving you the EXACT amount you just told me you need to complete your house.”
So funny. She actually said that.
GOD IS RIDICULOUS.
He asks you to build a boat in a desert, and He wraps the new, blue sky with His multicolor covenant . He asks you to take a 40-year wander in the wilderness, and your sandals stay new and your food falls faithfully. He asks you to lose your life, and you find it.
The One outside of time and space is beaming and scheming, while this class-act in yoga pants is kicking and screaming. It’s kind of our thing…
|First dance party in my new yard!|
Nevertheless, it’s happening: Glory House is COMING!
I don’t understand why there have been so many forward and so many backward steps. I don’t understand the setbacks, the setup, or WHAT A PERLIN IS.
But, with every step forward and every step backward, I am understanding a little more the limitless measures the One outside of time and space will take to show us how great, how high, how deep, how wide His love is. Big enough to build a House on and live there forever.
In my faithlessness, He has been faithful. In my weakness, His strength has been made perfect by an army, a family, of Truth-speakers, head-lifters, and burden-sharers collaborating with His cascading miracles and inconceivable provision.
|April 2014 - The day we celebrated promises and family with Sunday Lunch in the new yard.|
He’s beckoned me to a Promised Land that is still full of battles to wage – within myself and in the land before me. But, after all this time and all that I’ve seen, how can I glimpse at His glory and count the giants rather than the grapes?
|May 2013 - The day Lifa and I set our feet in the yard, prayed, and thanked God for the land.|
That would be ridiculous.
Liiiiiitle Lifa saying, "Thank you Jesus for Glory House."