I have a South African friend who loves to wear gold hoop earrings. And I, being the appropriate missionary-type that I am, make catcalls when I see her in them and ask her what kind of hott date she's dressed up for.
There are so many reasons this is culturally inappropriate - she's my elder is the biggest one, and the fact that the culture doesn't "date" nor do they EVER disclose personal information like that.
Last week, while I sat on Keri's couch, this friend came in giggling and nervous.
As she closed the door and covered her mouth, she told us, "I have a date on Saturday."
We immediately went into slumber party mode in the middle of the day: I kicked my shoes off, Keri brought out the food and the giggling girl-talk commenced. It went a little something like this:
Me: Oooooohhhhhhhh!!!! Ow-Owwwww!!!!
Her: hehehehehe
She gave us al the romantic facts about meeting him in line at the hospital, how often he text messages and sends airtime (cell phone airtime is very expensive in South Africa), and how she thinks he's a good man but needs to find out if he is married (men often have at least one wife and many girlfriends). We were beaming with pride at her high counter-cultural standards and her approach on a relationship.
And then we got to my favorite part:
Her: I've never been to a restaurant. Do you eat with a spoon and fork?
Me: Yes.
Her: But which one do I use?
Keri: It depends on what you eat.
Her: But what do I order?
Me: NO pasta! It's too messy for a first date!
We finally decided on chicken and rice. And that she would use a fork and a knife if she needed it.
Keri: You don't want to order the highest item on the menu or the lowest. Order something in-between.
Her: What do I drink?
Keri and I in unison: Coke!
Keri adds a sassy: You're not the tap-water kind of girl.
Me: YEAH, you're a classy cold-drink kind of girl!
Her: (giggling and taking mental notes) Ok, ok...
Me: What are you going to wear?
She's definitely thought about it.
Her: A short blue jean skirt (gesturing knee-length), with summer sandals.
Me: If you are wearing a short skirt, don't wear a tight shirt.
Her: Oh ok. I won't.
Keri: Yeah, you're not THAT kind of girl.
Me: Yes, you are beautiful. He can see that without you showing off your body.
Such a simple conversation. Which silverware to use. What to order. Her time to eat at a restaurant.
A mother and grandmother, finally getting taken out for a date and treated like a lady.
What an honor to get to have giggly conversations and be counted as a friend. I love living here today to talk about forks and spoons. It's pure joy to talk about wardrobe and cold drinks. And to tell her she's beautiful and worth delighting in. To be invited into her personal life.
I feel God delighting in me by giving me this giggly, girly moment. And I want more of that.
Thank you Jesus for girl talk, friendship and feeling like I belong, barefoot on that couch with your daughters.
There are so many reasons this is culturally inappropriate - she's my elder is the biggest one, and the fact that the culture doesn't "date" nor do they EVER disclose personal information like that.
Last week, while I sat on Keri's couch, this friend came in giggling and nervous.
As she closed the door and covered her mouth, she told us, "I have a date on Saturday."
We immediately went into slumber party mode in the middle of the day: I kicked my shoes off, Keri brought out the food and the giggling girl-talk commenced. It went a little something like this:
Me: Oooooohhhhhhhh!!!! Ow-Owwwww!!!!
Her: hehehehehe
She gave us al the romantic facts about meeting him in line at the hospital, how often he text messages and sends airtime (cell phone airtime is very expensive in South Africa), and how she thinks he's a good man but needs to find out if he is married (men often have at least one wife and many girlfriends). We were beaming with pride at her high counter-cultural standards and her approach on a relationship.
And then we got to my favorite part:
Her: I've never been to a restaurant. Do you eat with a spoon and fork?
Me: Yes.
Her: But which one do I use?
Keri: It depends on what you eat.
Her: But what do I order?
Me: NO pasta! It's too messy for a first date!
We finally decided on chicken and rice. And that she would use a fork and a knife if she needed it.
Keri: You don't want to order the highest item on the menu or the lowest. Order something in-between.
Her: What do I drink?
Keri and I in unison: Coke!
Keri adds a sassy: You're not the tap-water kind of girl.
Me: YEAH, you're a classy cold-drink kind of girl!
Her: (giggling and taking mental notes) Ok, ok...
Me: What are you going to wear?
She's definitely thought about it.
Her: A short blue jean skirt (gesturing knee-length), with summer sandals.
Me: If you are wearing a short skirt, don't wear a tight shirt.
Her: Oh ok. I won't.
Keri: Yeah, you're not THAT kind of girl.
Me: Yes, you are beautiful. He can see that without you showing off your body.
Such a simple conversation. Which silverware to use. What to order. Her time to eat at a restaurant.
A mother and grandmother, finally getting taken out for a date and treated like a lady.
What an honor to get to have giggly conversations and be counted as a friend. I love living here today to talk about forks and spoons. It's pure joy to talk about wardrobe and cold drinks. And to tell her she's beautiful and worth delighting in. To be invited into her personal life.
I feel God delighting in me by giving me this giggly, girly moment. And I want more of that.
Thank you Jesus for girl talk, friendship and feeling like I belong, barefoot on that couch with your daughters.
Without revealing a name is this who I think this is cause if it is it would explain the extreme brightness that she had while I was there! Miss you and hope to see you again in March!
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