I was nervous last week...

I was nervous last week.

[First, read this clarifying background info:]

I am part of a ministry called Ten Thousand Homes (TTH). We exist to build hope and create Home in any and every way we can. Here’s the website for more info.

I am part of a team within TTH called Community Development. Most of my time is poured into feeding programs, participating in the local church, home and hospital visits, working with families, and getting covered in dirt and kisses daily.

University Village is the name of the ministry base where we all live. It has a great vision and purpose as a place to train local and international guests-turned-family in skills and as disciples.

TTH’s Training Team has been working hard for the Discipleship Training School (DTS) starting this weekend. It’s a 5-month program where people from near and far come to learn how to hear God’s voice and put it into practice.

[So there’s the skeleton-version of some of the parts of our ministry, and a few links to get the full story… now let’s get back to me being nervous.]

I was nervous last week.

After building a house for Busi two years ago, and meeting Mama Charity in Busi’s yard, these ladies and their children have become family to me. We’ve been going to church and having Sunday lunch together for a year and a half.

Busi in front of her former shack, October 2011

Christmas 2011

We’ve celebrated birthdays and consumed A LOT of chocolate cake.

We’ve walked through loss and disaster hand-in-hand.

We’ve had slumber parties and done Christmas together.

Also… all of their children have pooped on me. It’s real family, people.

Over the past two years, I’ve celebrated as these women without families learn how to do family. They’ve learned how to not just keep their kids alive, but to treasure them.

They’ve taken the first baby-steps from surviving life to living it… there’s hope-seeds juuuuuuuust starting to sprout. The kids catch it fast, but it is a lot harder on these hard workin’ mamas who’ve never had mamas to take care of them.

Christmas 2012

Their culture says to not expose your weak places or wounds… but to just keep walking. Because the water has to be fetched and the kids are still crying. But, after two years of Sunday afternoons and hospital wards, I occasionally get invited into a glimpse of anything from body image issues to hopeless loneliness.

Baby steps have made me jump for joy.

Milestones that could only be measured on Kingdom scales… because He has to be in this…. This is going to give His glory some glimmer… Right?  

A few weeks ago, Busi and Mama Charity both asked me for applications for our DTS.

And I was nervous.

The facts: Despite our best efforts and “home improvement”, we just don’t have enough finances or living spaces yet for all of Mama Charity’s five children.

Was this going to be the relationship deal-breaker?

Our Training Team prayed. They didn’t want to say no. But no one knew what to do.

Busi called me, and I was still nervous. And so was she. She told she didn’t have the money required for DTS and didn’t know what to do next. She had been praying earnestly.

I asked her if she had ever heard God’s voice, or if He’s ever answered a prayer. She said no with resignation and hung her head.

I shared the gospel of Home in the shadow of the house we built two years ago.

And asked Busi if she had received Jesus into her life as her Savior. She said yes… and I had a secret-spirit-party while shy Busi just watched and waited.

I explained the Holy Spirit deposit and promise – her full access to the King of Kings. And that His Word says when two or more are gathered, He is there.

I asked Busi if she would be willing to pray together and believe that God would answer her. She was terrified, but we agreed that first I would pray and then she would pray. We would ask God how to pursue finances for this DTS, if she should go to it, or if she should wait until next year’s DTS. And then I would ask her if she heard God… because His Word said she would.

As we lifted our voices, her body started shaking.

I was nervous.

As soon as she ‘Amen’d’, I asked her if she heard God.

That shy, shaky body fell back, completely overcome, and shouted, “YES! I’M DOING THE DTS NEXT YEAR!”

Not. What. I. Expected.

Why was I nervous?

Why did I tremble and secretly doubt what I was saying to Busi… WHAT GOD’S WORD SAYS? Why did I still have shadows in my soul that expected Busi to say she wanted an immediate way out of her daily life?

Busi encountered the Holy Spirit while my doubt sent my thoughts drifting… while His glory was shaking the knee my praying hand was resting on.

How could I be nervous about how the Father loves His Family?

How could I be nervous about the way the cornerstone and the foundation builds His Home?

Charity wearing my shoes. April 2012.

Covered up in His glory, Busi said she wanted to start studying God’s word at Sunday Lunch.

And that’s not all…

Because then I had to go to Mama Charity’s borrowed shack. 

She had an 11-month of crawling all over her, a half-naked 2-year old running between us, and 4-year old twins licking the cake pan I had brought over and immediately running sugar-coated laps around the shack, directly in the middle of the conversation we were trying to have. (My version of the perfect scenario… but possibly not hers.)

I told her the story about Busi.

I shared the gospel of Family to this orphaned mother whose every moment was crowded by her children.

I asked her if she’d received her Father.

And I was STILL nervous about that part.

Because they’ve listened to me talk for two years, but they have not talked about their faith.

And, to my joy and delight, Mama Charity looked at me like I was the most ignorant idiot she’d ever met.

And said, “YES, Kacy.”

WOOOO-HOOOOOO!

So I asked her if she’d heard of the Holy Spirit. She hadn’t.

So I had the pleasure of teaching this sweet mama about the Trinity: our 3-in-1 Family God.

She gave me another priceless look, this time with awe, “THREE IN ONE!?!”

Every penny I’ve spent on Sunday lunches and every minute I’ve spent sitting in meaningless conversation in these yards for the past 2 years, was worth it for this conversation.

Kevin helps fetch water for Dwaleni feeding program. August 2013. 

 I told that Busi wanted to study God’s Word after lunch on Sunday.  Her eyes lit up with childlike joy and an involuntary, “YES!” left her mouth when I suggested using the Jesus Storybook Bible that I read to her from on Easter.

I’ve been nervous that we’ve been missing something this whole time.

His ways are higher. His thoughts are not my own.

His glory-scales, His Home-building, Home-coming plans are woven with intentionality, stained picnic blankets, long-term relationships, and the very moments I was nervous about that were just the right amount of heat to increase the depth and breadth of Family.

Charity's first day of school. January 2013.

I’m blown away by gratitude and awe that has canceled out anxieties.

I feel so surrounded by my Strong Tower and by a community of like-minded people who do their Body parts: like hosting a DTS, building housing at University Village, and giving personal finances to fund Kingdom purposes.

Sunday Lunch and my family relationships just committed to go deeper. We got a new language.

 

And, at Ten Thousand Homes, we are talking about what’s coming in our culture. We are committing to being intentional with finding a way to help Mama Charity and Busi come to DTS next year. And we are bracing ourselves for a base full of sweet African babies who’ve only known hardship and poverty… and showing them and their orphaned parents that they are wealthy heirs in the Family of God. 

Start praying, Family. The best is yet to come!