Lifa’s home!
And the cottage has turned into a comedy club.
Jokes, dances, and giggles are bouncing off these same walls
that, just a week ago, I felt like were closing in on me.
This house feels different. I feel different. My perspective and countenance has done a
complete turnaround as my arms have wrapped around this sweet little boy-giant.
I’ve never been so thankful to be so tired, to wash so many dishes, and do so
much laundry.
This little cottage felt barren and broken last week… or
maybe that was me.
This week, it feels like it’s bursting with life, joy and
baked goods!
There’s been bumper car driving...
Cookie rolling…
Cookie decorating…
Cookie eating…
LOTS of dancing…
Even a little tooth losing…
And lots of bubble-bathing.
Laughter… the real
laughter that I’ve been praying would return… bubbles out of me. Pure, unrestrained
love erupts through running, jumping, spontaneous bursts of affection out of
that little boy who was once silent, withdrawn and invisible.
I can’t help but remember the promises we started this year
claiming… The Year of the Lord’s Favor. (Isaiah 61)
Less than a month ago, I was washing away my prayers as I
wrote them with heart-broken, angry, burning tears. I was stomping my spiritual
foot and telling my Maker, “YOU SAID YOU TURN ASHES INTO BEAUTY. YOU
SAID you replace mourning with joy, garment of praise instead of a
spirit of despair. YOU SAID this was the year of Glory.”
Yeah.
I tooooold Him.
Yesterday, it wasn’t tear-washing that brought me back to
that passage in Isaiah like it was a few weeks ago… It was Lifa-washing. At
bath time. Because during bath time, Lifa had a dawning and life-changing
scientific discovery: He realized he can add so many more bubbles to his bath by adding a little personal gas.
He’s actually still laughing about
it.
I laughed so hard. (And also explained to him what the word
disgusting means.)
And, yes, I should be embarrassed to tell you that it was
really that moment (among many
others) that reminded me of my faithful Father.
He binds broken hearts and set the captives free.
Not always in the ways you think He will either.
I didn’t think bath bubbles (especially of the stinky
persuasion) would do a healing work on my heart. And I didn’t think that adding
more people, mess and chaos into this
tiny cottage would set me free.
I didn’t think the Year of the Lord’s Favor, the Year of
Glory, would end with me in this same little cottage, with this same
back-and-forth ambiguous routine with Lifa, with no birth certificate, and with
a taller tower of tear-filled journals.
It is ending with all of those things, but it’s also
ending with joy. Complete joy.
And, guess what… I’m going to read Isaiah 61 again in 2014,
and claim is as the Year of the Lord’s Favor again.
I’m going to call 2014 the Year of Joy. And I’m going to
choose it.
Bath bubbles and Christmas cookies are fleeting… (at equally
rapid rates!)
My circumstances and my emotions are like shifting sand.
But the Kingdom of God is unshakable.
“Therefore, since we are
receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship
God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire.”
Hebrews 12: 28-29
I’m asking my God, the consuming fire, to burn away my
expectations and my burdens, and to keep on exchanging those ashes for His
beauty.
“Instead of your shame you will
receive a double portion,
and instead of disgrace you will
rejoice in your inheritance.
And so you will inherit a double
portion in your land,
And everlasting joy will be
yours.”
Isaiah 61:7-8
And I’m latching on to Joy – living, breathing, active,
sovereign, complete Joy – within me and choosing it every day. He’s my promise
and He’s my peace. Everything else can burn away… and make more room for
beauty.
“Though the mountains be shake
and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor
my covenant of peace be removed,’ says the Lord, who has compassion on you.”
Isaiah 55:10
I love you and your spirit and your gift for writing and your gift for sharing!
ReplyDeleteMom Waters
Sesi! He looks like an ACTUAL old man with those bubble beards! What?! (also I very much appreciate the Christian booty-bounces on command.)
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