Roooosssaaa, He's Hoooome!!!

For weeks I’ve been scaling the walls and the emotional valleys and peaks of loving Lifa from afar.

Even after we got the date set on when he’d come home again, I felt out of control because suddenly I could feel how long it’d been since I’d kissed those perfect little lips and held those just-the-right-sized hands. What a crazy and overpowering love I have for this kid. How does God do it with ALL His children?

How does He love so deeply? And so completely? Although I’ve been trying to keep my hands busy with work and my heart distracted from feeling the pain of distance, God’s sovereign and peaceful hand has been on, in and encompassing us since before we even knew there was a beginning of a story.

The blog title might have given away the drum roll, grand entrance shebang I was going for, but…. LIFA’S HERE! Wheeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!

On Sunday, 7 weeks after dropping Lifa off with his father, Pastor Sthembiso, my brother Lennon, my visiting cousin Laura Chaffin and I filled the little blue Mazda and headed to another one of Lifa's extended family functions to pick him up for a 5 week visit.

I get so nervous every time.

But we’ve been at every family function Lifa’s ever been too since he was an infant. His father recently reconnected with his family in a beautiful ongoing story of reconciliation that I got to be a part of – so this weekend we were welcomed in as family. Not a big hoorah over the white people (ok, there was a small one), not a formal sit-down… we were squished into the middle of loud music, piles of pap and chicken and relatives delighted in us delighting in Lifa.

This was all I was aware of: one perfect little boy who immediately crawled into my lap and went to sleep.

I passed out family photo albums from our last family gathering and my last time with Lifa. It was so beautiful to watch the family pour over memories made together, laughing and treasuring their new albums. Photo albums are highly valued in this culture and photos are difficult to come by. I felt family roots thickening through a simple exchange of such an intimate gift.

A happy grandmother

Lifa's father showing off his new photo album

After about an hour of picture time and a sleeping lap baby, it was time to make our exit paparazzi style!

ready to bring this boy home!

Laura was a happy woman - she got to ride home in style! (And yes, laws are different in S Africa. But Lifa now has his own booster seat!)

Lifa’s been through so much change and transition in his 3 ½ years. Watching him attach to me completely as mama has been an incredible and beautiful journey. I didn’t know what I was signing up for a year and a half ago… and I still don’t really… but I wouldn’t and I couldn’t do it any other way.

It’s crazy to think that last year he was an invisible kid – no one noticed him and he hardly had family. And today he has an abundance of love, family and people willing to change for this one little life.

Keri Dodge was the perfect welcome committee as we made our first round through base and went to visit his friend Isabelle.

Lifa's favorite seat in every meeting is in Mimi's lap

Watching him remember, feel things out and fall back into step with being back home at the Ten Thousand Homes base and in our house has been so fun! He just arrived on Sunday, so he’s not speaking much around anybody except me yet. With every day and every encounter, we see him wake up and warm up a little more. Love is rolling over him and healing the places that have been dried out.

I’m cherishing every moment. He loves being here, and I’m SO happy to see him happy! He wakes up with a HUGE smile once he realizes where he is and then immediately is ready for some shakin’ it to worship music. (Still working on teaching him how NOT to dance like a white boy.)

This is a perfect hidden-camera moment where he realizes he's on video, tries to play it cool and seem like he's just testing out the instrument, and then gives in to the shaking once again. My kid! Well done on the video, Laura! 

Pray for us as we adjust!  Beyond daily life being rearranged, pray for Lifa to feel safe and peace. He’s still nervous I might leave and keeps his eyes on me. I love the extra snuggles, but am praying for him to feel a security in belonging in the Family of God first and then with me second.

Today we had an incredible day of sight-seeing and family fun with Laura! We got to watch him come alive a little more and show off that perfect personality of his.

We found out today he's quite the rock climbing, adventurous boy! Rosa would've been so proud! Testing out the COLD water on top of a waterfall.

Oh hey... hand on forehead.

You gotta include a kissy picture

Something I like to call, "Setting a good example."

Everyone sleepy after a long day and me ridiculously happy on a Lifa's-home high. Still going strong! 

I feel an inescapable joy today. I feel like I can laugh and celebrate all the way through me now. I feel flooded with thankfulness.

Celebrate family with Lifa and I by celebrating your family today!

Celebrate God’s faithfulness and a love that binds beyond distances!

Shoot… have a white boy dance party for Jesus!

And please, pray with us and for us. Pray for Lifa to encounter Home and Belonging in God’s Kingdom in supernatural, indescribable ways while he’s here. Pray for incredible favor over him and us. Pray that Lifa and I experience the completeness of family.

Thank you for loving us and celebrating with us! 

Sweeping for the Seamless

So I started writing to you over a week ago. Somehow and somewhere halfway down the page, sitting in the middle of the action-packed Ten Thousand Homes base, I forgot where I left off. For good reason though. I’ve found myself in the past few weeks getting lost in the most beautiful tapestry  - God weaving together new meaning, exposing new depths of grace, and building a new foundation for family. He’s so good at what He does…

My cousin, Laura Chaffin arrived on June 23^rd. FAMILY in Africa! My first family member to experience life on this side of the globe and to meet Lifa! (We are hoping, praying and trusting he’ll be back home with me this weekend! Pray, pray, pray we can meet up with him and his father on Friday, July 8^th at Home Affairs.)

Since Laura arrived, there has been more joy, more delight, more encouragement, more grace and more family – deep, deep down family – than I ever could have imagined encountering.

I don’t know what He’s doing… but He’s doing something big. It’s another step in paving the way for what’s to come in family, with Lifa and in creating hope and home in me and in Africa’s orphaned and vulnerable children.

Let’s take that and rewind it back to June 23^rd, shall we? (Thank you everyone who just caught on to me saying ‘take that and rewind it back’.)

Last year on June 23rd, I announced I was staying in South Africa to join the Ten Thousand Homes staff, I talked about relaxing into God’s sovereign embrace rather than try to perform well enough, and had my arms full of sleeping Lifa while God burned into my heart His words, “This is what it’s supposed to be like.”

I could never ever… EVER… have imagined the way this year would unfold.

This year on June 23^rd, I was lavished by God’s love.

I was wrecked by God’s love.

I was overwhelmed and absolutely consumed by God’s love.

I sat bundled up on my couch in the cottage after saying goodnights, in silent reverence, with an unhinged jaw. No one was there. Lifa was not sleeping in my arms.

But, once again, on June 23^rd God spoke to an untapped part of my heart. “This is what it’s supposed to be like.”

Laura had rolled in suitcases full of love upon arrival. Pike’s Place in my French press is like a hug every morning. More than the American treats, she brought genuine expressions of love.

She brought the most beautiful, take-my-breath-away reminders that the Body of Christ is more than just a bunch of body parts. It’s family. I teach that in my African church every month... but this hit me hard. Across oceans, intimate, personal and so completely, unexpectedly loving.

Laura's mom and sister sent beautiful blankets for Lifa and I! He's going to LOVE it!

She unpacked suitcases full of Siyabonga-sized winter clothes from last month’s visitor, Lindsay Loveless, who was so moved by compassion, she continues to respond to the least of these in Africa from America. 

The final straw for me that sent my jaw to the floor was opening up the card Lindsay made for Siyabonga. Written completely in his language. SiSwati.

She spoke love to him in his language.

And, through opening that card, those suitcases and all of that delicious coffee, Jesus spoke to me in my language. A family love that can love everybody all the way.

More and more love kept flowing in – I hit flood level (hence the jaw on the ground) and it kept pouring. “This is what It’s supposed to be like.” The more we take and take and take His love and grace, the more He gives and gives and gives. It’s His upside-down Kingdom thing He does. There’s no earning or working for it… there’s just drinking it all in.

All this jaw-dropping love… I’m going to have to start sweeping more often.

There’s more… from that same suitcase!

Last month’s visitor, Anda Brown, sent a shoe kit for my sister Prudence. Prudence loved Anda’s homemade shoes. Anda gave them to her right then and there, and then sent a kit of practice shoes along with a personal video for Prudence to teach her how to make the shoes and hopefully start her own business! You see what I mean? We’re going past warm fuzzies here… This is arms, legs, mouth, eyes, and all the parts of the Body standing up and saying, “We see you. We know you. You’re worth it,” to the people in the world who’ve never heard it.

The way you love, the way they’ve responded, Laura’s presence here, and the way you’re sticking with me… this is the stuff changing the world.

This is what it looks like to bring the Kingdom of Heaven to earth.

I’ve been hit hard by His grace and the way it flows through you. Don’t stop loving your family and being loved by His ridiculous grace.

Take and take and take it. Give and give and give it.

The more I pray for it, the more He sweeps me away in it. Here’s part of a prayer I prayed yesterday:

Jesus, I love you.

 I love the way you give gifts and extend compassion across nations. 

I love the way your love flowing makes all people groups, 

all culture and all voices feel like a seamless family.

I love the way your Spirit dances in mine as a promise of heaven 

and a taste of Home dwelling in me…

Your Sovereignty prevails and is more faithful than the sun.

Your love is more powerful.. Your thoughts more profound…

The palm of Your hand is bigger than the ocean.

Your justice is stronger than a hurricane.

Heaven, come down.

Flow wildly – burn more brightly and dangerously than a wildfire.

Bring your Kingdom into focus…

Amen

Here’s a picture of His immediate answer to that prayer – the prayer of His seamless family connecting, His Kingdom coming into focus, and his passionate love burning brightly through His children. I had my computer at my African family’s house and my GoGo ran up to me screaming in SiSwati that she wanted to see her sister… my NaNa. She sat all the way down on the ground with me as I pulled up the picture, screaming “I love you” in SiSwati and leaning over to kiss the screen. My sisters talked about how beautiful their Texas mama and sister, Sunny is. You could see something actually filling up in them once they felt like they got introduced to their family. We were created to be seamless. We were designed to take and take and take in that marvelous, ever-flowing love.

 This is how it’s supposed to be. 

Practicing Parables

Me and Jesus… We love stories.

I like them at bedtime with snuggles. Or to invite people into a part of my life.

Jesus drove His disciples CRAZY with his simply complex, bringing-heaven-to-earth kinda stories called parables.

Jesus came to save and to redeem. He taught through stories because we just can’t handle the fullness of what He has to offer with all this flesh in the way. It’s hard to even wrap my mind around the verbage “to save and to redeem”, much less His Son's, mine and your place sitting right next to the King of Kings.

Parables are like fun-size candy bars – just a taste of what the Kingdom of heaven is like. (which really only leaving you wanting the King-sized version anyway- or is that just me?)

It’s so good we can’t get it all at once while we’re here. He gave us stories to read and reread, to glean, encounter and be moved a little more by His Spirit each time.

The Kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in a field… Mt 13:44

The Kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed… Mt 13:31-32

The Kingdom of heaven is like yeast… Mt 13:33

The Kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out early in the morning to hire men to work in his vineyard… Mt 20:1-16

The Kingdom of heaven is like a king who prepared a wedding banquet for his son… Mt 22:1-14

He came with a love bigger than every combination of every character of every language. Metaphors, similes… shoot, onomatopoeias can’t even capture it all.

Jesus’ parables are the most current event and most relevant Truth to our lives today. And praise the Lord… because the Yahoo headlines that pop up on my computer screen every morning make me cringe.

I’ve gotten a little worn down from looking at everything on earth-level. I’m painfully aware of what the kingdom of earth is like… and I’m tired of claiming residency here. My skin lives here and is just as sin-filled as everyone else’s – sometimes it feels like I have extra sin in my skin.  And then there’s all the innocent little-skinned people who are suffering.

Whether my postal code is in South Africa or America, and whether the sin manifests in our skin as sickness and starvation or greed and gluttony, this isn’t home.

“But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ.” (Philippians 3:20)

So I asked Him yesterday to speak to me in my language. Stories.

And if you know Him, you know He can't resist those kind of prayers. Watch...

Abba, what is the Kingdom of heaven like? 

The Kingdom of heaven is like the way a mother looks at her child.

The Kingdom of heaven is like a young woman who gives her money and time to come wash dishes and peel potatoes for the least of these.

The Kingdom of heaven is like a safe place to take a nap and to be napped on.

The Kingdom of heaven is like bringing water to your family one bucket at a time.

The Kingdom of heaven is like a seat for two.

The Kingdom of heaven is like a young mother and pastor's wife who thinks it's worth checking on every new child, scratch and scrape.

The Kingdom of heaven is like the perfect shape of this perfect face.

The Kingdom of heaven is like the next generation of fathers joining in silly songs and hand games with the girls.

The Kingdom of heaven is like meeting on the sand pile despite culture, language and skin color.

The Kingdom of heaven is like an opportunity to know and love this little boy who just showed up at our church - no one can understand his name and his mom leaves him alone, locked out of his house all day long while she works.

The Kingdom of heaven sounds like this.

We already have the promise that the Kingdom of heaven has overcome the kingdom of earth. We are walking through the skin and sin part now, but we can choose what we look at. Everything changed for me yesterday when I chose to look for the Kingdom of heaven. I couldn't stop finding it.

Ask your Abba... the only One who really gets what Home is like... what the Kingdom of heaven is like in your day today. He speaks your language and loves talking to you. 

Turning Down the Celsius, Turning Up the Snuggle

Winter has arrived! It's COLD!

We wrapped ourselves up in as many layers as we could yesterday and headed out to Mbonisweni, hoping the wintry rain wouldn't deter the children from coming for a nice, warm meal. Weather has a much stronger impact on us here than in the States. We don't have the ability to control climates when we're inside, so once you get cold - you're cold! Typically, on rainy days, people try to stay warm and dry inside or huddled around their cooking fires.

To my delight, however, yesterday was a different story!

The children were not weighed down by their layers, but were bounding with energy and extra, extra snuggly. They piled high on top of each other and were filled with a surprising and beautiful joy.

At one point, I stuck out my hand for a child to hold and, before I could think twice, realized I had one child holding each finger, giggling together about the prize they had won. 

You have to see the most perfect, snuggly day...

I started the day by visiting my family's house. Walked in to my own personal heaven: All three babies snuggly and silly on their winter playground - the bed! I jumped right in.

Tstephiso and Fiona rolling around and wrestling while Fiona practiced saying, "Cheeeese" . So perfect.

First kids at the feeding! They came with every warm article of clothing they had and stacked themselves on top of each other.

Sheryl and Blessing. Every kid was SO SNUGGLY!

As groups of children poured in, they were already singing and playing before they entered the gates of the church yard. Even the children responsible for caring for children.

My little friend Jessica modeling her winter wear as she sneaks over for girl talk.

How many kids can you fit on one church bench? (just the right amount... and there's always room for one more)

Disclaimer: I wasn't the only one who cashed in on snuggly kids and used winter for my own personal advantage.  At one point, I found Stan buried under a mountain of children screaming, "These kids are soooo waaarrrmmmm!!" We don't have central heating people. You gotta do what you gotta do. 

Our visiting friend, Katja took joined the snuggle party too! 

My Tstephiso

I found the Shaw girls huddled in a corner, piled high with children and broken-hearted for the least of these. 

Who needs hands in winter?

It seems like there were more babies taking care of babies than ever before this week.

Modeling winter-wear for the 2011 season. That's Fiona on the far left and Sheryl on the far right. 

I didn't know what to do when I handed this tiny girl two plates and watched her try to feed herself and the baby in her care. 

Because of the cold and rainy weather, we had to feed everyone INSIDE the church. What a beautiful chaos! We lined the little ones up on stage to serve first. 

Playing the pass-the-baby game.

My friend Tersia, the most joyful servant, makes everything look like fun!

And we're back outside for kid-piling and cuddling. Praise the Lord. 

Gloved hand and bare feet. 

Who needs ToysRUs when you can use these dead tree branches? Endless giggles from my most favorite little people. 

And at the end of the afternoon, when we finally told them they HAD to go home, I found them singing, dancing and playing in the road with George - the only family-oriented older man I've encountered in South Africa. The children are drawn to his joy and to that grandpa-love he lavishes freely on them. 

Thank you, Jesus, for joy in every weather.