Journey Through the Knowns and Unknowns

I’ve been on an indescribable journey in the past two months…

Hopping hemispheres, crossing causeways, passing through peninsulas, sharing stories, and moments and meals with the most meaningful people.

The journey has been more than miles, more than meals, and more than any measure of alliteration could suffice for. I’ve shared my story over and over again, and have been surprised almost every time I open my mouth and hear God put HIS two cents in.

This week I am on a personal retreat- exchanging the speed of American life for island time. Just like last year, Shelley at the Hilton Galveston Island Resort gave me grace, a great deal and a warm welcome to stay for two nights right here on the seawall to take in the arctic breeze, salty scenery and rest in His inescapable beauty and presence on this island. She even remembered me and let me bring out all the Lifa pictures she could stand! (He’s invited next year.)

Yes. King-sized. You don't even have to get up to see the Gulf.

Pretty sure He picked these for me.

Monday evening, I’ll be settling down into seat K21 and starting a two-day journey back to Africa! FIVE DAYS TO GO!!! (but who’s counting?)

This time I’m going with a different perspective.

This time I’m going home.

This time I’m saying goodbye to my family and my friends to go back to my family and my friends.

This time I’m leaving my church home to go back to my church home.

This time I’m not making small talk on an airplane with strangers as we set out for a 5-month mission trip together (love you Bekah and Brittany!) but am going back home with Carly B, a part of my everyday life, whether we’re on the same continent or not.

In some ways it’s going to be more comfortable. Fewer uncertainties about details, faces and culture.

In some ways, it’s going to be so much more uncomfortable. The kind of uncomfortable that comes with walking in the Kingdom culture as you weave in and out of earthly cultures. The kind of uncomfortable that comes with knowing that God’s got a lot to say in the unknown… and embracing unknowing in a run-and-jump-with-two-feet kind of way that trusts He’s handling the landing. Like not flinching on the trust fall.

I’m saying a more permanent goodbye to the details, faces and culture that shaped me. I’m saying ok to God guiding me in the unknown now that, after one of my least graceful years yet, I’ve come to terms with some of the basic knowns:

I know where I’m supposed to live for now.

I know some of the basics in how to maneuver through life in South Africa.

I know that a little boy named Lifa is family.

I know that I get to have a voice about family in Lifa’s community, Mbonisweni.

I know that God has a big plan that He’s inviting me to be a part of, if I stop trying to figure out all the little “knowns” and let him be the Known in the unknowns.

Letting God do the big picture and the details, while living in a foreign country and being surrounded by nothing that really ever makes sense comes with feeling blind… or at least like I have tunnel vision. (Ok, so I do.)

But He, the Known, reminded me on this retreat about all the “known” encounters I’ve had with Him and that’s He’s never forsaken me. 

In fact, in every event and encounter, He only shows me He knows me more. 

See....

He gave me sweet time with the most important 7 year-old in my life to remind me that I'm known beyond age and time zones. 

Extra special bonding with my best friend, Morgan. We got to watch each other do our thing and have a unique ministry experience together.

Revisiting a very special school, an incredible group of kids and remembering stories of hope and restoration.

So many perfect coffee shop moments in the perfect chairs.

A happy NaNa!

Walking through Seattle with women from all walks of life. Who know me wherever I am.

Sweet cups of tea with sweet conversation.

And perfect story when I just needed a break from life.

Family time with the my best friends, whose new community welcomed me in as family.

Ferry rides. Beach time. It's where me and Jesus meet.