Amidst all the travels and encouragement, I've been in conversation with God about thankfulness and giving. He's used some really special moments through my friends at Fuller to encourage and teach me... as usual. :)
Friday, at lunch with Amanda in Pasadena at the School Cafe (Chinese Chicken Salads... mmhmmm), I was telling her about feeling overwhelmed by every last detail of selfless giving I'd experienced - tablecloth text messages, photoshoot sign-ups, etc. I shared with her that I have never felt more known or more loved as I do now that I'm sharing promptings with others to bring homes and hope to orphans. She reminded me that, big or small, we can never repay God for his sacrifice. We can never be thankful enough in that make-it-even kind of way.
The pslamists felt the same way...
"How can I repay the Lord for all his goodness to me? I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the Lord." -Psalm 116:12-13
Maybe it's more about recieving His goodness so that we can give it back to God to make His glory known. As I've been sharing with others about the trip, I find myself repeating, "You cannot give what you haven't received," as I talk about bringing homes to the homeless.
Then there was breakfast with Helen... best omlette and blueberry pancakes I've ever encountered, by the way. Helen is on staff at YWAM in Kona and she was filling me in on what DTS is like, preparing me to receive, receive, receive...
It was making my skin crawl! It is so difficult for me to think of going on missions to receive. It made me feel afraid that I would lose my identity as someone who gives. It made me afraid that I would become all-about-Kacy. Or maybe I'm using "giving" as a coat of armor of sorts. Giving is good, so if I'm giving, I must be good. Right? It's better to give than to receive, right? Right... but an empty cup cannot overflow. Without receiving from the Lord, we are giving from ourselves. There's no good in that.
Maybe I'm learning how to recieve God's glory so that I can give it back and He can make it bigger and better. I'm a vessel.
Helen's wisdom, love, and encouragement, topped with homeade whip cream and blueberry syrup, helped me to shape a new prayer.
Lord, peel away my defenses... the parts of me protecting my identity in this world. Rewrite my identity to be wholly in You. Help me to maintain a humble, learning posture in every encounter. Help me to receive with thanksgiving and to give each blessing back to Your glory. Fill my cup to overflow, and let the overflow extend to the ends of the earth. Amen.
P.S.: If you live near League City, there is an AWESOME opportunity to get beautiful portraits taken for a good cause. My great friend, Loryn is coming to town Sat, Dec 5 to offer 30 min photo sessions for a minimum $50 donation toward our joint effort at bringing Homes with Hope at Ten Thousand Homes. There are still a few spots left! She'll give you the CD the day you take the pics. To sign up, comment on her blogpost at http://www.lnwgallery.blogspot.com/
Dance Party Exhibit A: Lily learns to break-dance.
The "Chang Girls"... Fuller friends who taught me how to grow deeper with God in communityomlettes and blueberry pancakes... this is no joke, people. 
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