It’s been on of those weeks where everything seems to be
running low.
This isn’t a whining, woeful story to start your weekend off
with a good cry. This is my running trail. This is me trying to overcome all of
the parts that feel like they’re running low by proclaiming Truth. I want to
proclaim it to you. I want you to proclaim it with me.
There are seasons of abundance and seasons that feel more
like a drought. Right now, resources are running low. In the past weeks, Ten Thousand Homes’ general funding to keep our homes and space for discipleship,
as well as our most basic ministry costs has run low.
The gas in our ministry vehicle is running low.
The gas for our kitchen stove and the ones for our feeding
programs are running low.
The finances we use to pay local workers has run dry.
Even the international donations for our weekly feeding
programs significantly decreased this week.
On Thursday, I handed out plate-by-plate, plate-by-plate,
plate-by-plate…
Those perfectly brown and hungry-for-hope eyes just kept
coming.
The line wrapped around the big tree and then around the
house. It seemed like a new set of hands would come every time I placed a plate
in one.
Plate-by-plate, I prayed for more with every plate.
Finally, I began to watch the pots run low.
Plate-by-plate served less and less.
Until I had to tell 30 empty tummies that we’d run out.
And then watch them scrape, lick and fight over the bottom
of the pots.
Their little bodies running on empty. My heart broken by the
sound of hungry, trampling feet around a pot.
On Tuesday, I went to visit 22-year old Mama Charity and her
4 babies 4-years old and under. As we approached, so did two men in uniform who
came to clear out the furniture in her borrowed shack. The only thing she owned
in the world, she couldn’t pay for.
I glimpsed into the empty shack – no food, no furniture.
Hope ran low in both of us as she stopped trying to hold her
head up under the weight of the overcoming tears.
I looked down with this weeping woman, dressed in a bed sheet.
I’ve watched the skin of her stomach stretch far and round, most likely
carrying the newest joy, the newest burden, the newest mouth, only 10 months
after the last one. Culturally, a woman, especially a woman who is running low
on everything, doesn’t speak of a new life until it’s here. You don’t ask; you
don’t speak; you don’t name – just in case.
I ran out of words. I wondered what ran through her mind. I
wondered if it would get dangerous – if she would completely run out of hope.
She said she just needed a break.
So I scooped up the three children who were not breastfeeding,
put them in my car and took them to our feeding program. And then back to my
house for a slumber party.
Me with 3 of Mama Charity's 4 children |
A worthy attempt that left them laughing and running…. And
me running low on toilet paper, Pampers, and laundry soap.
This week I don’t think I’ve been bowing low in exalting
awe. I’ve been crumbling low under the exhausting weight of running… dry,
empty, out.
Doesn’t HE get tired from all of this running low?
Didn’t HE feel how heavy Mama Charity’s tears were?
Didn’t HE hear how loud those tummies grumbled?
Didn’t HE weigh the hair-pulling stress of our leadership,
trying to steward tiny resources wisely for the safety and protection of the
staff and the ones we are here to serve?
“Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the
everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can
fathom.” – Isaiah 40:28
It’s just right now. It’s just this life. It’s just today’s
adversity.
“…In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I
have overcome the world.” John 16:33b
Some days it runs low, and some days it overflows.
This day is only a breath, a whispered memory of an eternity
of breaths and todays.
“All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the
flowers of the field. The grass withers and the flowers fall, because the
breath of the Lord blows on them. Surely the people are grass. The grass
withers and the flowers fall, but the
word of our God stands forever.” Isaiah 40:6b-8
So today I will say, “Thank you.”
Today I will say, “I love you.”
When there’s enough, I say thank you. When there’s not, I
say thank you.
Because HE is good. His faithfulness, His love, HE never
change.
“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and
forever.” Hebrews 13:8
Thank you for the place I have to live and
the people I have to live with.
Thank you that when someone runs low,
someone has enough to share.
Thank you that the more I share, the more
there is.
Thank you for the hundreds of children we
COULD feed this week.
Thank you that it’s not about our hands,
our plates, or our money.
Thank you for Mama Charity, new life, and
her precious babies.
Thank you that healing can come through chicken,
vegetables and a beanbag.
Thank you for bathtub toys and extra
sheets.
No matter what temporary-tomorrow brings, it will soon
become a story about yesterday.
But Jesus... Blood and water ran from His body as he hung
high, going lower than low to overcome death. He will always be alive.
He came. He’s here. He’s coming.
Yesterday. Today. Forever.
“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for
his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your
faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23
Maybe this is it.
This next verse of Lamentations.
I’m going to write it. I want to mean it.
To hear. To know. To say. To live…
“I
say to myself, ‘The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”
Lamentations
3:24
And for my heart to beat out this one…
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for
my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more
gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why,
for Christ’s sake, I delight in weakness, in insults, in hardships, in
persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2
Corinthians 12:9-10
Thank you for making me weak.
Thank you for being my strength.
I choose to run in You.
So well written, Kacy! It's such a powerful post. I love how you're talking about the reality of the situation and how God's heart breaks over it. Praying for everything including Mama Charity and her sweet babies.
ReplyDeleteMy heart is broken for South Africa. Thank you for sharing your heart Kacy. Thank you for sharing your love, your food, your God. Thank you for being His hands and feet. Thank you for helping others understand the need. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI am praying hard and my heart is so heavy! Father, please supply the needs of the hopeless and the needs of Your children. Thank you, Kacy, for being the physical hands of our Father in this really hard place.
ReplyDelete