Sunsets. Coffee. Praying Out Loud.

It’s amazing… the ways you love me are amazing. Undeserved, undoubtedly. And absolutely amazing.


I have no idea what to do with it. No idea how to process it. How to receive it. But I know you died for it. So how could I not choose to accept it and give it away? How could I not drink in all I can stand and then some until it overflows out of every part of me?

How do I receive it, Lord? I don’t know how to feel it all the way through. It’s like it’s too much so I just shut it down and refuse. What do I say?

And why is it so hard to believe that others are in this as much – even more – than me? That they are here in this with me? Is it pride? Isolating? Doubting their character? Doubting Your sovereignty? Any of those labels make me feel ashamed and sick.

Help me. Forgive me for trying to live independently. I’m trying to operate as my own entity, and, in order to do that effectively, convince myself that no one really cares.

God, I failed you. And you’re the kind of God that, even when I fail you, you love for me to come to you and ask for more. More grace. More Truth. More You. Lavish me with it, King.

Awaken in me what’s dead. Turn on in me what I’ve turned off. Tear down the protective bumpers I’ve built up. Jesus, make my heart look more like Yours.

Show me compassion and Kingdom in a newer, deeper, purer form, Lord. Give me wisdom, understanding and a Christ-like hope and love in Your children. Father, write on my heart permanently that you’ve set eternity in the heart of every child. You’ve created us all with purpose and passion. You wired us all to be a part of a family. No exception – only circumstances that stand no chance when coming up to bat with the power and the love of the Kingdom of God.

Jesus, I believe in you. I believe that you came here – and walked on this earth closer to where I live now than where I’ve ever lived before – fully God and fully man. I believe you touched and healed. I believe you loved and transformed. I believe you died and saved. I believe you came back to life and changed everything.

And that is why I believe that, despite the countless times I turn away… daily... despite the times I choose independence or fear to follow… You’re still here, touching, healing, loving, transforming, dying, saving, living, changing.

An endless grace I can’t escape.

Jesus, I believe in the healing and transformative loving authority you have over my life. Come invade me and wreck me for your Kingdom and your orphan crisis now. Unlock the parts of me – the love and giftings – I’ve locked up.

And thank you for starting to answer this prayer before I even prayed it. Thank you for sending BACC here to embarrass me with unconditional, overflowing love that showed me how much room there is for more of You.
Amen.

Thank You BACC, for sending faithful workers to give an overflow of love. Thank you for filling them up to the brim and sending them to serve missionaries, workers and orphans. They truly changed the world… starting with me.

Jesus, thank you for a pastor who came to serve. Thank you for the ways you transformed this place because of Steven’s presence and for the ways you broke him at the same time. I pray for a nurturing and fostering of the vision you’ve embedded in him. I pray that he steps into the calling on him right now- a unique authority to lead and transform from brokenness.

Jesus, thank you for Alyssa, a follower who leads and whose bleeding heart doesn’t stop her from missing even one moment. Walk with her in daily life as she is forced back into a world that will feel the same as before she left, even though nothing feels the same in her now. Give her people. Give her Your voice. Give her a peace in belonging in the Kingdom because peace in walking through daily life like nothing changed is impossible now. Begin to speak to her today about the plans you have for her. Rain over her Truth about what an important part of this Kingdom she it.

Jesus, thank you for TJ – a young man who exemplifies Your creativity and free love. Thank you for bringing an extra-powerful, heart-felt and genuine love to Africa through him. I believe You’re going to start peeling away layers, pulling out Truth and working deeply in his heart as he returns. I pray that he stays open and eager for more of who you are.

Jesus, thank you for Kendall, a young lady who embodies grace, faithfulness and trust. Those may be the exact things she keeps herself from experiencing some days, and I pray that you undo all the doing she does to not let your love in. Thank you, Jesus, for every single part of her story and who she is. She has the authority to – and already has- changed the world. Write into her heart permanently the ways You see her, love her and want even more of her.

Jesus, thank you for one of the most genuinely compassionate and servant-hearted people I’ve ever met. Thank you for Tyler. It almost doesn’t make sense how such a young man, first mission trip, first plane ride, can tilt the axis we’re existing on by the authenticity he brings in. He’s going back to be better – to live abundantly in You – to make Your Kingdom better. Show him how and don’t let him forget.

Jesus, thank you for Carly B. Thank you for giving me a person. Thank you for the ways she loves – and can’t stop loving. It just flows out of her with a freedom that only You could have given her. Her capacity to love is unmatchable and impossible without Your love. Surround her with Kingdom-people to help her understand her place now. Give extra love, extra grace, and extra moments to her as her heart’s been ripped open with the compassion Jesus walked in. Bless her creativity, servant-heart and gifts ten-fold, Lord. The dreams she can’t stop dreaming… one-hundred-fold, Lord.